The Shit Your BF Says or Does

Submit Your Story


Your Nickname :
Categories :
Gender? :
Upload Picture:

Random Stories

Sort: All Time | Today Only | This Week | This Month | This Year

I think you need to taste my DNA to tonight.

#416
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (7) - Dump His Ass! (16)

Jan 30, 2011 03:17 AM - Sex - by Connie (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 


God I love America.

#428
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (10) - Dump His Ass! (3)

Jan 30, 2011 05:52 AM - Health - by FattiesAreFunny (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

What my boyfriend told me on the phone when I wanted to see him: "I'm like a reserved table, you have to reserve time with me and right now, all my friends got my time."

#404
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (4) - Dump His Ass! (28)

Jan 30, 2011 02:26 AM - Love - by Lisa (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

As I was walking into a convenience store, I held the door for a middle aged woman who was walking up. She said "Don't hold the door because I’m a woman!". I responded with "It's because you’re old." The look on her face and the laughing clerk was priceless.

#844
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (27) - Dump His Ass! (2)

Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Work - by MenopauseHits (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

Yes, I fucked a duck.

#399
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (2) - Dump His Ass! (11)

Jan 30, 2011 02:21 AM - Sex - by Shauna (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

"You seemed to be having a wet dream. Then you moaned more in your dream than when having sex with me."

#426
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (5) - Dump His Ass! (18)

Jan 30, 2011 05:31 AM - Sex - by Connie (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

"They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of the bar."

#415
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (15) - Dump His Ass! (0)

Jan 30, 2011 03:00 AM - Drunk - by Carly (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

him (on the phone): you're a fucking scumbag, and I want to choke you to death.
me: *click*

him (email): why are you ignoring me? That's an act of aggression.

#851
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (1) - Dump His Ass! (48)

Sep 1, 2011 07:38 PM - Breakups - by puh-leeze (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

As we are sitting in my BFs bed after I just got him off instead of sex cause I was on my period and he taps my crotch and says babe I think its great!! That means no baby in there. The more blood the better I alway say!!

#490
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (12) - Dump His Ass! (23)

Feb 16, 2011 03:28 AM - Sex - by G.access (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

You suck. What have you been up to? Besides working out twice a day obviously!

#393
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (8) - Dump His Ass! (0)

Jan 30, 2011 02:20 AM - Misc - by Myra (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

My ex asked, ‘Did you know that glass is made out of water?

#868
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (7) - Dump His Ass! (22)

Sep 22, 2011 11:54 PM - Misc - by Jessica (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." Wasn't a pretty picture... :(

#845
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (6) - Dump His Ass! (4)

Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Drunk - by StrippersSuckNow (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

Today I was at a video game store. The kid in front of me was about 13 and trading in some games. The clerk opened a game case and the kidís weed stash fell out. His mom was standing right next to him.

#842
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (1) - Dump His Ass! (4)

Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Work - by DorkGF (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

As I was waiting on line at a store, I noticed the cashier had a British accent. When it was my turn, I faked a British accent in conversation. He asked me where I was from, so I admitted that I was faking. His British accent disappeared as he said, "Me too."

#847
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (45) - Dump His Ass! (2)

Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Drunk - by GirlsLoveFakeBrits (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

We were in bed hooking up. I was shirtless, but with my bra still on. Instead of taking my bra off, my boyfriend folded down the cup, revealing my nipple and exclaimed, 'Peek a boob!' What a mood killer.

#858
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (24) - Dump His Ass! (12)

Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Katie (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

You know how some people call a bra an over-the-shoulder boulder holder? My guy calls mine a ‘pebble holder.'

#866
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (5) - Dump His Ass! (51)

Sep 22, 2011 11:30 PM - Misc - by Kathy (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

My bro had a wrestling match. I put Viagra in his water bottle! hehe

#848
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (22) - Dump His Ass! (11)

Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Drunk - by Payback (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

Women prefer 30 - 45 minutes of foreplay. Men prefer 30 - 45 seconds of foreplay. Men consider driving back to her place as part of the foreplay.

#403
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (9) - Dump His Ass! (13)

Jan 30, 2011 02:26 AM - Sex - by Pam (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

My boyfriend says, "I was listening to you, but I didn't hear you." WTF?!?

#408
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (6) - Dump His Ass! (11)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Love - by mari_wink (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

I was in math class. I raised my hand and while the teacher was helping me, I got a text from my you and my tone is Navi from Legend of Zelda saying “Hey! Listen!” My teacher said without missing a beat, “Not now, Navi, he’s in math class.” Hilarious!

#838
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (13) - Dump His Ass! (1)

Aug 10, 2011 08:44 AM - Misc - by Zelda (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

Your Account
Username: Password:  Remember Me

Connect