The Shit Your BF Says or Does

Submit Your Story


Your Nickname :
Categories :
Gender? :
Upload Picture:

Random Stories

Sort: All Time | Today Only | This Week | This Month | This Year

The first time he saw me curling my hair (and apparently the first time he saw any girl curling her hair), he asked, 'How long will that last? A few months or until it grows out and you cut it?' He actually thought that using a curling iron might be permanent.

#861
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (23) - Dump His Ass! (10)

Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Elizabeth (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

My boyfriend thought the purpose of tampons is to alleviate menstrual pain...

#874
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (11) - Dump His Ass! (16)

Oct 25, 2011 04:50 AM - Love - by Beanz (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." Wasn't a pretty picture... :(

#845
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (6) - Dump His Ass! (4)

Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Drunk - by StrippersSuckNow (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

While watching a movie I say "I like her dress" he replies "I like her face"!

#901
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (6) - Dump His Ass! (27)

Feb 4, 2012 12:18 AM - Misc - by Rhondamarie (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

Today I sucked helium out of a balloon, and tried singing, I finally matched the pitch of Justin Bieber in choir.

#843
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (10) - Dump His Ass! (0)

Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - School - by JBiebFan (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

So, my boyfriend was out of town for a few days to visit a college buddy of his... I get a text at 12:15am that says "Baby! I saw a tree that had a knot that looked like a vagina. I thought of you." Greeaatt.

#837
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (18) - Dump His Ass! (2)

Aug 10, 2011 08:44 AM - Sex - by Annie (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

I didn't think it was possible to out-queer figure skating, but look out! Here comes ice dancing!

#397
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (11) - Dump His Ass! (8)

Jan 30, 2011 02:21 AM - Misc - by Joanne (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

My mom told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time.

#423
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (6) - Dump His Ass! (6)

Jan 30, 2011 05:12 AM - Love - by Andrea (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

You suck. What have you been up to? Besides working out twice a day obviously!

#393
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (8) - Dump His Ass! (0)

Jan 30, 2011 02:20 AM - Misc - by Myra (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

I also think of your face. That keeps me running!

#390
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (2) - Dump His Ass! (4)

Jan 30, 2011 02:20 AM - Health - by Millie (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

Today, at my high school, my teacher announced that all the third hour classes would be having a door decorating contest for Martin Luther King Day. The boy next to me suggested that we duct tape the one black kid in the class to the door.

#849
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (26) - Dump His Ass! (5)

Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - School - by Payback (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

My boyfriend says, "I was listening to you, but I didn't hear you." WTF?!?

#408
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (6) - Dump His Ass! (11)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Love - by mari_wink (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

I was doing a strip tease for my boyfriend. He told me to stop and put on some clothes.

#406
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (7) - Dump His Ass! (43)

Jan 30, 2011 02:26 AM - Sex - by Michelle (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

(Went to Dallas for a church event.) Him: So have you found someone better at church? Me: Yes, Jesus! Him: A Mexican?

#400
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (14) - Dump His Ass! (6)

Jan 30, 2011 02:21 AM - Misc - by Allysa (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

Women prefer 30 - 45 minutes of foreplay. Men prefer 30 - 45 seconds of foreplay. Men consider driving back to her place as part of the foreplay.

#403
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (9) - Dump His Ass! (13)

Jan 30, 2011 02:26 AM - Sex - by Pam (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

Soon after we first met he said, ‘Please, keep your finger out of my butthole. Some chicks are freaky so I’m just getting it out of the way.'

#869
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (37) - Dump His Ass! (10)

Sep 22, 2011 11:54 PM - Misc - by Lisa (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

him (on the phone): you're a fucking scumbag, and I want to choke you to death.
me: *click*

him (email): why are you ignoring me? That's an act of aggression.

#851
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (1) - Dump His Ass! (48)

Sep 1, 2011 07:38 PM - Breakups - by puh-leeze (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

Me: If you are using my washing machine, why do I still have to do all of your laundry?
Him: "Look between your legs, what do you see?...Exactly."

#939
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (9) - Dump His Ass! (39)

May 25, 2012 03:54 AM - Love - by coconutlover (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

On the first date, one guy said, ‘Do you mind if I break wind in front of you?

#870
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (10) - Dump His Ass! (41)

Sep 22, 2011 11:54 PM - Misc - by Sam (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

The other day I wrote a to-do list and left it on my BF's table. After he read it he said: "This is the most logical letter you have ever given me."

#963
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (29) - Dump His Ass! (9)

Sep 5, 2012 09:51 AM - Misc - by Ruhruh (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

Your Account
Username: Password:  Remember Me

Connect