The Shit Your BF Says or Does
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Hey you want to go to Bally's? I just saw a couple of really fat people and thought of you and me.

#392
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Jan 30, 2011 02:20 AM - Health - by Paula (woman)

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One time he squeezed my sides and said, 'You're just like a pillow! A meat pillow!'

#854
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Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Amy (woman)

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You're picking up the bill, right? I just bought us condoms yesterday.

#405
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Jan 30, 2011 02:26 AM - Sex - by Nina (woman)

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I didn't think it was possible to out-queer figure skating, but look out! Here comes ice dancing!

#397
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Jan 30, 2011 02:21 AM - Misc - by Joanne (woman)

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"I have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my hair trimmer."

#425
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Jan 30, 2011 05:31 AM - Sex - by Merriam (woman)

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"I was still so drunk when I woke up, that i put my foot in the wank sock I keep by my bed!"

#422
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Jan 30, 2011 05:12 AM - Drunk - by Alex (woman)

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I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." Wasn't a pretty picture... :(

#845
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Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Drunk - by StrippersSuckNow (woman)

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ShitMyBFSays.com Rocks!

#877
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Feb 20, 6812 01:20 PM - Misc - by Stickam (woman)

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I was complaining about me gaining weight, and having a fat belly, when my boyfriend said, 'hey, don't treat it bad ok, my babies are gonna be there someday"

#907
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Sep 5, 2012 09:46 AM - Love - by bigbelly (woman)

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My friend was trying to convince me we could have casual sex and his most persuasive line was, 'It doesn't count as sex if you use a condom.'

#859
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Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Sex - by Alex (woman)

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God I love America.

#428
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Jan 30, 2011 05:52 AM - Health - by FattiesAreFunny (woman)

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Courting him with sour patch kids, you ho! (after I gave a lil kid some food).

#391
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Jan 30, 2011 02:20 AM - Kids - by Melissa (woman)

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She's going to hate herself in the morning, but at least she's having fun right now!

#417
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Jan 30, 2011 03:17 AM - Drunk - by Katy (woman)

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I just drunk dialed your mom! SHIT!

#1
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Dec 12, 2010 01:47 AM - Drunk - by prodjallen (man)

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He calls my boobs ‘beerbs’ because when I gain weight, I get bigger boobs instead of a beer belly.

#867
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Sep 22, 2011 11:30 PM - Misc - by Sunny (woman)

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I think you need to taste my DNA to tonight.

#416
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Jan 30, 2011 03:17 AM - Sex - by Connie (woman)

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What my boyfriend told me on the phone when I wanted to see him: "I'm like a reserved table, you have to reserve time with me and right now, all my friends got my time."

#404
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Jan 30, 2011 02:26 AM - Love - by Lisa (woman)

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"This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me."

#418
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Jan 30, 2011 03:17 AM - School - by Megan (woman)

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"Wanna try this position tonight?"

#420
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Jan 30, 2011 04:35 AM - Sex - by Ellen (woman)

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me: you could have been one of those guys that had lots of girlfriends

bf: nah, im good with just you

me: awww really?

bf: yup... im too lazy for more than one.

#852
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He's A Keeper! (23) - Dump His Ass! (6)

Sep 1, 2011 07:38 PM - Misc - by SweetTart (woman)

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