Warning: session_start(): open(/home/shitmybf/public_html/temporary/sessions/sess_8grs99knnsptallihnk8b9b3s2, O_RDWR) failed: Permission denied (13) in /home/shitmybf/public_html/include/config.php on line 17
Random Stories | ShitMyBFSays
The Shit Your BF Says or Does
Bookmark and Share

Submit Your Story


Your Nickname :
Categories :
Gender? :
Upload Picture:
Test

Random Stories

Sort: All Time | Today Only | This Week | This Month | This Year

I was complaining about me gaining weight, and having a fat belly, when my boyfriend said, 'hey, don't treat it bad ok, my babies are gonna be there someday"

#907
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (41) - Dump His Ass! (12)

Sep 5, 2012 09:46 AM - Love - by bigbelly (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.

#411
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (10) - Dump His Ass! (0)

Jan 30, 2011 03:00 AM - Sex - by Shanna (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

My boyfriend- "You're not stupid. You're a girl."

#936
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (19) - Dump His Ass! (30)

Sep 5, 2012 09:47 AM - Misc - by Kate (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

I just drunk dialed your mom! SHIT!

#1
2 Comments

He's A Keeper! (19) - Dump His Ass! (13)

Dec 12, 2010 01:47 AM - Drunk - by prodjallen (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

"I couldn't tell if it was your finger...or if you had a penis..."

#421
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (2) - Dump His Ass! (12)

Jan 30, 2011 05:12 AM - Sex - by Allison (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.

#409
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (8) - Dump His Ass! (19)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Sex - by Shelley (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." Wasn't a pretty picture... :(

#845
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (6) - Dump His Ass! (4)

Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Drunk - by StrippersSuckNow (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.

#413
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (15) - Dump His Ass! (0)

Jan 30, 2011 03:00 AM - Drunk - by Melanie (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

When I told him my period was a bit late, he freaked out and exclaimed, ‘I knew BJs could get you pregnant!

#865
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (8) - Dump His Ass! (38)

Sep 22, 2011 11:29 PM - Misc - by Katie (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

So we are lying in bed after I just got him off because I was on my rag and he says: "Babe I think its great! It means theres no babys in there!" as he taps my crotch "keep it coming babe, the more blood the better I always say!"

#489
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (7) - Dump His Ass! (11)

Feb 16, 2011 03:23 AM - Sex - by G.access (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

We were in bed hooking up. I was shirtless, but with my bra still on. Instead of taking my bra off, my boyfriend folded down the cup, revealing my nipple and exclaimed, 'Peek a boob!' What a mood killer.

#858
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (24) - Dump His Ass! (12)

Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Katie (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

Is there any kind of anal sex other than SURPRISE anal sex?

#396
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (5) - Dump His Ass! (8)

Jan 30, 2011 02:20 AM - Sex - by Lyndsay (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

My boyfriend asked me if i was born without a sex and had to choose between being female or male, which would I choose. i said i would be female. He said, "yeah, me too, I'd stick so much stuff up my vagina it would be untrue."

#981
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (10) - Dump His Ass! (8)

Sep 27, 2012 10:33 AM - Misc - by Jamiexlou (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

I was in math class. I raised my hand and while the teacher was helping me, I got a text from my you and my tone is Navi from Legend of Zelda saying “Hey! Listen!” My teacher said without missing a beat, “Not now, Navi, he’s in math class.” Hilarious!

#838
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (13) - Dump His Ass! (1)

Aug 10, 2011 08:44 AM - Misc - by Zelda (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

So last night my boyfriend and I are sitting around a fire with his parents and we were all pretty quiet for a minute, and then my bf's dad stands up and with this Indian accent says, "Me chief Hung Low, first name Hung, last name low" and proceeds to drop his pants and piss on the fire.

#427
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (16) - Dump His Ass! (8)

Jan 30, 2011 05:31 AM - Misc - by Ali (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

"I have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my hair trimmer."

#425
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (25) - Dump His Ass! (4)

Jan 30, 2011 05:31 AM - Sex - by Merriam (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

Women prefer 30 - 45 minutes of foreplay. Men prefer 30 - 45 seconds of foreplay. Men consider driving back to her place as part of the foreplay.

#403
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (9) - Dump His Ass! (13)

Jan 30, 2011 02:26 AM - Sex - by Pam (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

The other day I wrote a to-do list and left it on my BF's table. After he read it he said: "This is the most logical letter you have ever given me."

#963
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (29) - Dump His Ass! (8)

Sep 5, 2012 09:51 AM - Misc - by Ruhruh (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

me: you could have been one of those guys that had lots of girlfriends

bf: nah, im good with just you

me: awww really?

bf: yup... im too lazy for more than one.

#852
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (23) - Dump His Ass! (6)

Sep 1, 2011 07:38 PM - Misc - by SweetTart (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

I was sitting on the couch wrapped up in a blanket and he said, completely seriously, 'If you were a burrito, I'd eat you.' He thought it was such a sexy line.

#853
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (27) - Dump His Ass! (2)

Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Bree (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

Your Account
Username: Password:  Remember Me

Connect