The Shit Your BF Says or Does
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I think you need to taste my DNA to tonight.

#416
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Jan 29, 2011 09:17 PM - Sex - by Connie (woman)

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My boyfriend says, "I was listening to you, but I didn't hear you." WTF?!?

#408
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Jan 29, 2011 08:59 PM - Love - by mari_wink (woman)

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me: you could have been one of those guys that had lots of girlfriends

bf: nah, im good with just you

me: awww really?

bf: yup... im too lazy for more than one.

#852
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Sep 1, 2011 02:38 PM - Misc - by SweetTart (woman)

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Today I was at a video game store. The kid in front of me was about 13 and trading in some games. The clerk opened a game case and the kid’s weed stash fell out. His mom was standing right next to him.

#842
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Aug 10, 2011 03:45 AM - Work - by DorkGF (woman)

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As I was walking into a convenience store, I held the door for a middle aged woman who was walking up. She said "Don't hold the door because I’m a woman!". I responded with "It's because you’re old." The look on her face and the laughing clerk was priceless.

#844
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Aug 10, 2011 03:45 AM - Work - by MenopauseHits (woman)

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He said, ‘Baby I want to try something. Can I dump my oatmeal on you and eat it off your boobs?'

#871
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Sep 29, 2011 01:01 AM - Misc - by Kimmy (woman)

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Courting him with sour patch kids, you ho! (after I gave a lil kid some food).

#391
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Jan 29, 2011 08:20 PM - Kids - by Melissa (woman)

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When I told him my period was a bit late, he freaked out and exclaimed, ‘I knew BJs could get you pregnant!

#865
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Sep 22, 2011 06:29 PM - Misc - by Katie (woman)

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Soon after we first met he said, ‘Please, keep your finger out of my butthole. Some chicks are freaky so I’m just getting it out of the way.'

#869
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Sep 22, 2011 06:54 PM - Misc - by Lisa (woman)

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An ex once told me that women may have to deal with period issues, but guys have it way worse because they have 'inner butt hair'. When I pressed him on it, he said, 'Do you have any idea how difficult it makes wiping back there?'

#860
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Sep 22, 2011 06:24 PM - Sex - by Joann (woman)

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Boyfriend- "Is lady time over yet?"

#937
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Sep 5, 2012 04:48 AM - Misc - by Kate (woman)

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As we are sitting in my BFs bed after I just got him off instead of sex cause I was on my period and he taps my crotch and says babe I think its great!! That means no baby in there. The more blood the better I alway say!!

#490
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Feb 15, 2011 09:28 PM - Sex - by G.access (woman)

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My mom told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time.

#423
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Jan 29, 2011 11:12 PM - Love - by Andrea (woman)

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New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.

#411
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Jan 29, 2011 09:00 PM - Sex - by Shanna (woman)

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He overheard me tell a friend I bought a DVF dress and later he told me he liked my 'DVDA' dress. I corrected him, but he said, 'Are you sure you don't mean DVDA? Double vaginal, double anal?' Uh, no I most definitely did not.

#862
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Sep 22, 2011 06:29 PM - Misc - by Marie (woman)

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"You seemed to be having a wet dream. Then you moaned more in your dream than when having sex with me."

#426
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Jan 29, 2011 11:31 PM - Sex - by Connie (woman)

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You shouldn't buy me things. Save your money for unicorn rides or whatever it is girls spend money on.

#398
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Jan 29, 2011 08:21 PM - Money - by Maya (woman)

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"I have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my hair trimmer."

#425
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Jan 29, 2011 11:31 PM - Sex - by Merriam (woman)

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"If and when I visit texas, whether it be in a year or two, or the 10 year high school reunion...remind me to beat your ass and sit on you..."

#401
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Jan 29, 2011 08:21 PM - Misc - by Lola (woman)

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He calls my boobs ‘beerbs’ because when I gain weight, I get bigger boobs instead of a beer belly.

#867
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He's A Keeper! (20) - Dump His Ass! (12)

Sep 22, 2011 06:30 PM - Misc - by Sunny (woman)

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