The Shit Your BF Says or Does
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Hey you want to go to Bally's? I just saw a couple of really fat people and thought of you and me.

#392
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He's A Keeper! (5) - Dump His Ass! (8)

Jan 30, 2011 02:20 AM - Health - by Paula (woman)

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if your guy turns to u and says this....
*BF: Hey babe do u like turkey sausage?
*Girl: Uh.... yeah why?
*BF: then come gobble it up!
And points at his crotch its time to get rid of him!

#984
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Oct 10, 2012 05:58 PM - Breakups - by SRock (woman)

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I think you need to taste my DNA to tonight.

#416
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He's A Keeper! (7) - Dump His Ass! (16)

Jan 30, 2011 03:17 AM - Sex - by Connie (woman)

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I also think of your face. That keeps me running!

#390
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Jan 30, 2011 02:20 AM - Health - by Millie (woman)

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Me: I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time.
Him: I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating.

#410
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Jan 30, 2011 03:00 AM - Sex - by Carmella (woman)

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He says: "Fighting zombies wouldn't be totally awesome, but it wouldn't be the worst way to go out either. Just saying."

#959
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Aug 2, 2012 06:01 AM - Misc - by Tamarhino (woman)

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He said to me, ‘I can’t look at you when you have a pickle in your mouth.’

#863
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Sep 22, 2011 11:29 PM - Misc - by Tina (woman)

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Today, at my high school, my teacher announced that all the third hour classes would be having a door decorating contest for Martin Luther King Day. The boy next to me suggested that we duct tape the one black kid in the class to the door.

#849
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Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - School - by Payback (woman)

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We were in bed hooking up. I was shirtless, but with my bra still on. Instead of taking my bra off, my boyfriend folded down the cup, revealing my nipple and exclaimed, 'Peek a boob!' What a mood killer.

#858
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Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Katie (woman)

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When I told him my period was a bit late, he freaked out and exclaimed, ‘I knew BJs could get you pregnant!

#865
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He's A Keeper! (8) - Dump His Ass! (37)

Sep 22, 2011 11:29 PM - Misc - by Katie (woman)

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You're picking up the bill, right? I just bought us condoms yesterday.

#405
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He's A Keeper! (1) - Dump His Ass! (43)

Jan 30, 2011 02:26 AM - Sex - by Nina (woman)

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I was doing a strip tease for my boyfriend. He told me to stop and put on some clothes.

#406
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Jan 30, 2011 02:26 AM - Sex - by Michelle (woman)

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You know how some people call a bra an over-the-shoulder boulder holder? My guy calls mine a ‘pebble holder.'

#866
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Sep 22, 2011 11:30 PM - Misc - by Kathy (woman)

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Soon after we first met he said, ‘Please, keep your finger out of my butthole. Some chicks are freaky so I’m just getting it out of the way.'

#869
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He's A Keeper! (33) - Dump His Ass! (10)

Sep 22, 2011 11:54 PM - Misc - by Lisa (woman)

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An ex once told me that women may have to deal with period issues, but guys have it way worse because they have 'inner butt hair'. When I pressed him on it, he said, 'Do you have any idea how difficult it makes wiping back there?'

#860
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Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Sex - by Joann (woman)

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I just drunk dialed your mom! SHIT!

#1
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Dec 12, 2010 01:47 AM - Drunk - by prodjallen (man)

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"They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of the bar."

#415
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He's A Keeper! (15) - Dump His Ass! (0)

Jan 30, 2011 03:00 AM - Drunk - by Carly (woman)

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So, my boyfriend was out of town for a few days to visit a college buddy of his... I get a text at 12:15am that says "Baby! I saw a tree that had a knot that looked like a vagina. I thought of you." Greeaatt.

#837
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He's A Keeper! (16) - Dump His Ass! (1)

Aug 10, 2011 08:44 AM - Sex - by Annie (woman)

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Women prefer 30 - 45 minutes of foreplay. Men prefer 30 - 45 seconds of foreplay. Men consider driving back to her place as part of the foreplay.

#403
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He's A Keeper! (9) - Dump His Ass! (13)

Jan 30, 2011 02:26 AM - Sex - by Pam (woman)

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The other day I wrote a to-do list and left it on my BF's table. After he read it he said: "This is the most logical letter you have ever given me."

#963
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He's A Keeper! (27) - Dump His Ass! (7)

Sep 5, 2012 09:51 AM - Misc - by Ruhruh (woman)

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