Warning: session_start(): open(/home/shitmybf/public_html/temporary/sessions/sess_6h34mlh3fe1qjmv4sn0sn3sbt1, O_RDWR) failed: Permission denied (13) in /home/shitmybf/public_html/include/config.php on line 17
Random Stories | ShitMyBFSays
The Shit Your BF Says or Does
Bookmark and Share

Submit Your Story


Your Nickname :
Categories :
Gender? :
Upload Picture:
Test

Random Stories

Sort: All Time | Today Only | This Week | This Month | This Year

My bro had a wrestling match. I put Viagra in his water bottle! hehe

#848
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (22) - Dump His Ass! (9)

Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Drunk - by Payback (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 


"Isn't this kind of what you did last week, baby?"

#419
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (5) - Dump His Ass! (1)

Jan 30, 2011 03:35 AM - Drunk - by Megan (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

Soon after we first met he said, ‘Please, keep your finger out of my butthole. Some chicks are freaky so I’m just getting it out of the way.'

#869
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (37) - Dump His Ass! (10)

Sep 22, 2011 11:54 PM - Misc - by Lisa (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

We were in bed hooking up. I was shirtless, but with my bra still on. Instead of taking my bra off, my boyfriend folded down the cup, revealing my nipple and exclaimed, 'Peek a boob!' What a mood killer.

#858
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (24) - Dump His Ass! (12)

Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Katie (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

Yes, I fucked a duck.

#399
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (2) - Dump His Ass! (11)

Jan 30, 2011 02:21 AM - Sex - by Shauna (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

Today I was at a video game store. The kid in front of me was about 13 and trading in some games. The clerk opened a game case and the kid’s weed stash fell out. His mom was standing right next to him.

#842
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (1) - Dump His Ass! (4)

Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Work - by DorkGF (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

"I'm going go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea."

#414
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (10) - Dump His Ass! (0)

Jan 30, 2011 03:00 AM - Sex - by Sammie (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 


God I love America.

#428
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (10) - Dump His Ass! (3)

Jan 30, 2011 05:52 AM - Health - by FattiesAreFunny (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

You're picking up the bill, right? I just bought us condoms yesterday.

#405
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (1) - Dump His Ass! (44)

Jan 30, 2011 02:26 AM - Sex - by Nina (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

So last night my boyfriend and I are sitting around a fire with his parents and we were all pretty quiet for a minute, and then my bf's dad stands up and with this Indian accent says, "Me chief Hung Low, first name Hung, last name low" and proceeds to drop his pants and piss on the fire.

#427
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (16) - Dump His Ass! (8)

Jan 30, 2011 05:31 AM - Misc - by Ali (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

We were showering together and I realized he was putting conditioner on his pubes and chest hair. He explained, ‘It’s important that it be soft and silky.’ He was totally serious.

#872
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (36) - Dump His Ass! (11)

Sep 29, 2011 06:01 AM - Misc - by Tara (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

Is there any kind of anal sex other than SURPRISE anal sex?

#396
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (5) - Dump His Ass! (8)

Jan 30, 2011 02:20 AM - Sex - by Lyndsay (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

So we are lying in bed after I just got him off because I was on my rag and he says: "Babe I think its great! It means theres no babys in there!" as he taps my crotch "keep it coming babe, the more blood the better I always say!"

#489
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (7) - Dump His Ass! (11)

Feb 16, 2011 03:23 AM - Sex - by G.access (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 


ShitMyBFSays.com Rocks!

#877
1 Comments

He's A Keeper! (7) - Dump His Ass! (5)

Oct 18, 6812 01:20 PM - Misc - by Stickam (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

So, my boyfriend was out of town for a few days to visit a college buddy of his... I get a text at 12:15am that says "Baby! I saw a tree that had a knot that looked like a vagina. I thought of you." Greeaatt.

#837
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (17) - Dump His Ass! (2)

Aug 10, 2011 08:44 AM - Sex - by Annie (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

if your guy turns to u and says this....
*BF: Hey babe do u like turkey sausage?
*Girl: Uh.... yeah why?
*BF: then come gobble it up!
And points at his crotch its time to get rid of him!

#984
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (17) - Dump His Ass! (12)

Oct 10, 2012 05:58 PM - Breakups - by SRock (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

If you gave me a car made of diamonds and blowjobs all day, I still wouldn't drink that beer.

#395
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (11) - Dump His Ass! (0)

Jan 30, 2011 02:20 AM - Love - by Lulu (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

My friend was trying to convince me we could have casual sex and his most persuasive line was, 'It doesn't count as sex if you use a condom.'

#859
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (3) - Dump His Ass! (35)

Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Sex - by Alex (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

"They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of the bar."

#415
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (15) - Dump His Ass! (0)

Jan 30, 2011 03:00 AM - Drunk - by Carly (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

My boyfriend asked me if i was born without a sex and had to choose between being female or male, which would I choose. i said i would be female. He said, "yeah, me too, I'd stick so much stuff up my vagina it would be untrue."

#981
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (10) - Dump His Ass! (8)

Sep 27, 2012 10:33 AM - Misc - by Jamiexlou (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

Your Account
Username: Password:  Remember Me

Connect