The Shit Your BF Says or Does
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My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.

#409
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Jan 29, 2011 08:59 PM - Sex - by Shelley (woman)

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Yes, I fucked a duck.

#399
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Jan 29, 2011 08:21 PM - Sex - by Shauna (woman)

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You're picking up the bill, right? I just bought us condoms yesterday.

#405
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Jan 29, 2011 08:26 PM - Sex - by Nina (woman)

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Me: If you are using my washing machine, why do I still have to do all of your laundry?
Him: "Look between your legs, what do you see?...Exactly."

#939
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May 24, 2012 10:54 PM - Love - by coconutlover (woman)

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A Man At The Gym Asks His Trainer " Which Machine Do I Need To Use In Order To Attract All The Beautiful Women " The Trainer Responds " The ATM Machine Outside "

#604
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Aug 19, 2579 01:09 PM - Money - by Allen Analian (man)

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My mom told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time.

#423
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Jan 29, 2011 11:12 PM - Love - by Andrea (woman)

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My 5 year old nephew said that a boy in his Kindergarten class had called him "Dumbo". My Mom asked him how he responded to the kid and my nephew replied, "I called him a fucking asshole."

#839
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Aug 10, 2011 03:44 AM - Misc - by ImADush (woman)

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"Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable."

#412
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Jan 29, 2011 09:00 PM - Drunk - by Stephanie (woman)

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My boyfriend- "You're not stupid. You're a girl."

#936
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Sep 5, 2012 04:47 AM - Misc - by Kate (woman)

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Today I was at a video game store. The kid in front of me was about 13 and trading in some games. The clerk opened a game case and the kid’s weed stash fell out. His mom was standing right next to him.

#842
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Aug 10, 2011 03:45 AM - Work - by DorkGF (woman)

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On the first date, one guy said, ‘Do you mind if I break wind in front of you?

#870
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Sep 22, 2011 06:54 PM - Misc - by Sam (woman)

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We were showering together and I realized he was putting conditioner on his pubes and chest hair. He explained, ‘It’s important that it be soft and silky.’ He was totally serious.

#872
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Sep 29, 2011 01:01 AM - Misc - by Tara (woman)

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God I love America.

#428
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Jan 29, 2011 11:52 PM - Health - by FattiesAreFunny (woman)

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Ex-bf: "Wow, you are as big as a horse!"

#407
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Jan 29, 2011 08:26 PM - Love - by Laticia (woman)

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One night I was leaning on his stomach and I guess my elbow was digging into him. He told me, 'Babe, get up. You're hurting my ovaries.' I think he was serious and I couldn't help but burst out laughing.

#856
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Sep 22, 2011 06:24 PM - Misc - by Christine (woman)

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"Wanna try this position tonight?"

#420
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Jan 29, 2011 10:35 PM - Sex - by Ellen (woman)

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My boyfriend asked me if i was born without a sex and had to choose between being female or male, which would I choose. i said i would be female. He said, "yeah, me too, I'd stick so much stuff up my vagina it would be untrue."

#981
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Sep 27, 2012 05:33 AM - Misc - by Jamiexlou (woman)

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I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I'll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you're a total whore. But I want you to know there's always a chance for us - WTF?

#402
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Jan 29, 2011 08:26 PM - Love - by Cello (woman)

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You know how some people call a bra an over-the-shoulder boulder holder? My guy calls mine a ‘pebble holder.'

#866
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Sep 22, 2011 06:30 PM - Misc - by Kathy (woman)

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Look at this shit sucker. Or as they say in Mexico, chuprakaka.

#394
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He's A Keeper! (5) - Dump His Ass! (1)

Jan 29, 2011 08:20 PM - Misc - by Shannon (woman)

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