The Shit Your BF Says or Does
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"You shouldn't let your vagina make the decisions any more...it makes bad ones."

#424
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He's A Keeper! (13) - Dump His Ass! (8)

Jan 30, 2011 05:31 AM - Misc - by Ashley (woman)

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My boyfriend asked me if i was born without a sex and had to choose between being female or male, which would I choose. i said i would be female. He said, "yeah, me too, I'd stick so much stuff up my vagina it would be untrue."

#981
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Sep 27, 2012 10:33 AM - Misc - by Jamiexlou (woman)

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The first time he saw me curling my hair (and apparently the first time he saw any girl curling her hair), he asked, 'How long will that last? A few months or until it grows out and you cut it?' He actually thought that using a curling iron might be permanent.

#861
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Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Elizabeth (woman)

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My friend was trying to convince me we could have casual sex and his most persuasive line was, 'It doesn't count as sex if you use a condom.'

#859
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Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Sex - by Alex (woman)

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He said to me, ‘I can’t look at you when you have a pickle in your mouth.’

#863
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Sep 22, 2011 11:29 PM - Misc - by Tina (woman)

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"Isn't this kind of what you did last week, baby?"

#419
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Jan 30, 2011 03:35 AM - Drunk - by Megan (woman)

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God I love America.

#428
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Jan 30, 2011 05:52 AM - Health - by FattiesAreFunny (woman)

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The other day in Biology, my teacher tried to explain that semen is comprised mostly of sugar, a blonde girl in the back pipes up “then why does it taste so salty?” She promptly ran out of the classroom with the reddest face. So happy you aren't that stupid, baby!

#841
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Aug 10, 2011 08:44 AM - Sex - by Ashley (woman)

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I think you need to taste my DNA to tonight.

#416
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Jan 30, 2011 03:17 AM - Sex - by Connie (woman)

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Hey you want to go to Bally's? I just saw a couple of really fat people and thought of you and me.

#392
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Jan 30, 2011 02:20 AM - Health - by Paula (woman)

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As I was waiting on line at a store, I noticed the cashier had a British accent. When it was my turn, I faked a British accent in conversation. He asked me where I was from, so I admitted that I was faking. His British accent disappeared as he said, "Me too."

#847
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Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Drunk - by GirlsLoveFakeBrits (woman)

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You know how some people call a bra an over-the-shoulder boulder holder? My guy calls mine a ‘pebble holder.'

#866
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Sep 22, 2011 11:30 PM - Misc - by Kathy (woman)

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"I'm going go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea."

#414
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Jan 30, 2011 03:00 AM - Sex - by Sammie (woman)

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My boyfriend thought the purpose of tampons is to alleviate menstrual pain...

#874
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Oct 2, 8257 01:19 PM - Love - by Beanz (woman)

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I also think of your face. That keeps me running!

#390
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Jan 30, 2011 02:20 AM - Health - by Millie (woman)

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I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." Wasn't a pretty picture... :(

#845
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Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Drunk - by StrippersSuckNow (woman)

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"You seemed to be having a wet dream. Then you moaned more in your dream than when having sex with me."

#426
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Jan 30, 2011 05:31 AM - Sex - by Connie (woman)

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As we are sitting in my BFs bed after I just got him off instead of sex cause I was on my period and he taps my crotch and says babe I think its great!! That means no baby in there. The more blood the better I alway say!!

#490
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Feb 16, 2011 03:28 AM - Sex - by G.access (woman)

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You shouldn't buy me things. Save your money for unicorn rides or whatever it is girls spend money on.

#398
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Jan 30, 2011 02:21 AM - Money - by Maya (woman)

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As I was walking into a convenience store, I held the door for a middle aged woman who was walking up. She said "Don't hold the door because I’m a woman!". I responded with "It's because you’re old." The look on her face and the laughing clerk was priceless.

#844
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He's A Keeper! (27) - Dump His Ass! (2)

Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Work - by MenopauseHits (woman)

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