The Shit Your BF Says or Does
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You know how some people call a bra an over-the-shoulder boulder holder? My guy calls mine a ‘pebble holder.'

#866
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Sep 22, 2011 11:30 PM - Misc - by Kathy (woman)

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"Isn't this kind of what you did last week, baby?"

#419
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Jan 30, 2011 03:35 AM - Drunk - by Megan (woman)

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We were in bed hooking up. I was shirtless, but with my bra still on. Instead of taking my bra off, my boyfriend folded down the cup, revealing my nipple and exclaimed, 'Peek a boob!' What a mood killer.

#858
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Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Katie (woman)

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He asked if gravity kept girls from getting pregnant when they are on top.

#857
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Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Julie (woman)

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As we are sitting in my BFs bed after I just got him off instead of sex cause I was on my period and he taps my crotch and says babe I think its great!! That means no baby in there. The more blood the better I alway say!!

#490
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Feb 16, 2011 03:28 AM - Sex - by G.access (woman)

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When I told him my period was a bit late, he freaked out and exclaimed, ‘I knew BJs could get you pregnant!

#865
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Sep 22, 2011 11:29 PM - Misc - by Katie (woman)

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My boyfriend says, "I was listening to you, but I didn't hear you." WTF?!?

#408
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Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Love - by mari_wink (woman)

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him (on the phone): you're a fucking scumbag, and I want to choke you to death.
me: *click*

him (email): why are you ignoring me? That's an act of aggression.

#851
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Sep 1, 2011 07:38 PM - Breakups - by puh-leeze (woman)

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"Wanna try this position tonight?"

#420
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Jan 30, 2011 04:35 AM - Sex - by Ellen (woman)

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I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I'll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you're a total whore. But I want you to know there's always a chance for us - WTF?

#402
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Jan 30, 2011 02:26 AM - Love - by Cello (woman)

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I also think of your face. That keeps me running!

#390
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Jan 30, 2011 02:20 AM - Health - by Millie (woman)

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My boyfriend once told me, ‘I wish I had a vagine. That way I would have a place to put things."

#864
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Sep 22, 2011 11:29 PM - Misc - by Jamie (woman)

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You suck. What have you been up to? Besides working out twice a day obviously!

#393
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Jan 30, 2011 02:20 AM - Misc - by Myra (woman)

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My 5 year old nephew said that a boy in his Kindergarten class had called him "Dumbo". My Mom asked him how he responded to the kid and my nephew replied, "I called him a fucking asshole."

#839
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Aug 10, 2011 08:44 AM - Misc - by ImADush (woman)

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As I was walking into a convenience store, I held the door for a middle aged woman who was walking up. She said "Don't hold the door because I’m a woman!". I responded with "It's because you’re old." The look on her face and the laughing clerk was priceless.

#844
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Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Work - by MenopauseHits (woman)

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My mom told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time.

#423
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Jan 30, 2011 05:12 AM - Love - by Andrea (woman)

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As I was waiting on line at a store, I noticed the cashier had a British accent. When it was my turn, I faked a British accent in conversation. He asked me where I was from, so I admitted that I was faking. His British accent disappeared as he said, "Me too."

#847
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Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Drunk - by GirlsLoveFakeBrits (woman)

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"I was still so drunk when I woke up, that i put my foot in the wank sock I keep by my bed!"

#422
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Jan 30, 2011 05:12 AM - Drunk - by Alex (woman)

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"If and when I visit texas, whether it be in a year or two, or the 10 year high school reunion...remind me to beat your ass and sit on you..."

#401
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Jan 30, 2011 02:21 AM - Misc - by Lola (woman)

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The other day in Biology, my teacher tried to explain that semen is comprised mostly of sugar, a blonde girl in the back pipes up “then why does it taste so salty?” She promptly ran out of the classroom with the reddest face. So happy you aren't that stupid, baby!

#841
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He's A Keeper! (11) - Dump His Ass! (3)

Aug 10, 2011 08:44 AM - Sex - by Ashley (woman)

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