The Shit Your BF Says or Does
Advanced Search
Bookmark and Share

Home

|

Keep Him Stories

|

Dump Him Stories

|

Random Stories

|

Submit A Story

|

Moderate

|

ShitMyGFSays.com

Submit Your Story


Your Nickname :
Categories :
Gender? :
Upload Picture:
Email notification ?
Test

Random Stories

Sort: All Time | Today Only | This Week | This Month | This Year

My mom told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time.

#423
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (6) - Dump His Ass! (6)

Jan 30, 2011 05:12 AM - Love - by Andrea (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

Today, at my high school, my teacher announced that all the third hour classes would be having a door decorating contest for Martin Luther King Day. The boy next to me suggested that we duct tape the one black kid in the class to the door.

#849
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (26) - Dump His Ass! (5)

Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - School - by Payback (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

You suck. What have you been up to? Besides working out twice a day obviously!

#393
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (8) - Dump His Ass! (0)

Jan 30, 2011 02:20 AM - Misc - by Myra (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

I received an e-mail today from my teacher telling me that her dog ate my homework! And that she was sincerely sorry. Ironic...

#846
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (13) - Dump His Ass! (1)

Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - School - by SchoolBlows (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

When I told him my period was a bit late, he freaked out and exclaimed, ‘I knew BJs could get you pregnant!

#865
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (8) - Dump His Ass! (38)

Sep 22, 2011 11:29 PM - Misc - by Katie (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

him (on the phone): you're a fucking scumbag, and I want to choke you to death.
me: *click*

him (email): why are you ignoring me? That's an act of aggression.

#851
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (1) - Dump His Ass! (48)

Sep 1, 2011 07:38 PM - Breakups - by puh-leeze (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

We were showering together and I realized he was putting conditioner on his pubes and chest hair. He explained, ‘It’s important that it be soft and silky.’ He was totally serious.

#872
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (37) - Dump His Ass! (11)

Sep 29, 2011 06:01 AM - Misc - by Tara (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 


ShitMyBFSays.com Rocks!

#877
1 Comments

He's A Keeper! (7) - Dump His Ass! (5)

Jan 29, 6812 01:20 PM - Misc - by Stickam (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

He said to me, ‘I can’t look at you when you have a pickle in your mouth.’

#863
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (16) - Dump His Ass! (9)

Sep 22, 2011 11:29 PM - Misc - by Tina (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

My man and I were out for a romantic brunch at this nice restaurant and he ordered a fruit parfait. When he was finished he said, 'It would have been better without the cantaloupe and antelope.' Turns out he meant honey dew.

#855
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (12) - Dump His Ass! (2)

Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Jordan (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." Wasn't a pretty picture... :(

#845
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (6) - Dump His Ass! (4)

Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Drunk - by StrippersSuckNow (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

Today I sucked helium out of a balloon, and tried singing, I finally matched the pitch of Justin Bieber in choir.

#843
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (10) - Dump His Ass! (0)

Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - School - by JBiebFan (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

My bro had a wrestling match. I put Viagra in his water bottle! hehe

#848
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (22) - Dump His Ass! (11)

Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Drunk - by Payback (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

I was in math class. I raised my hand and while the teacher was helping me, I got a text from my you and my tone is Navi from Legend of Zelda saying “Hey! Listen!” My teacher said without missing a beat, “Not now, Navi, he’s in math class.” Hilarious!

#838
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (13) - Dump His Ass! (1)

Aug 10, 2011 08:44 AM - Misc - by Zelda (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

He says: "Fighting zombies wouldn't be totally awesome, but it wouldn't be the worst way to go out either. Just saying."

#959
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (16) - Dump His Ass! (9)

Aug 2, 2012 06:01 AM - Misc - by Tamarhino (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

me: you could have been one of those guys that had lots of girlfriends

bf: nah, im good with just you

me: awww really?

bf: yup... im too lazy for more than one.

#852
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (23) - Dump His Ass! (6)

Sep 1, 2011 07:38 PM - Misc - by SweetTart (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

The other day I wrote a to-do list and left it on my BF's table. After he read it he said: "This is the most logical letter you have ever given me."

#963
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (29) - Dump His Ass! (8)

Sep 5, 2012 09:51 AM - Misc - by Ruhruh (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

Women prefer 30 - 45 minutes of foreplay. Men prefer 30 - 45 seconds of foreplay. Men consider driving back to her place as part of the foreplay.

#403
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (9) - Dump His Ass! (13)

Jan 30, 2011 02:26 AM - Sex - by Pam (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

Soon after we first met he said, ‘Please, keep your finger out of my butthole. Some chicks are freaky so I’m just getting it out of the way.'

#869
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (37) - Dump His Ass! (10)

Sep 22, 2011 11:54 PM - Misc - by Lisa (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

My boyfriend says, "I was listening to you, but I didn't hear you." WTF?!?

#408
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (6) - Dump His Ass! (11)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Love - by mari_wink (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

Your Account
Username: Password:  Remember Me
Sign Up - Forgot?

Connect
Entertane