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On the first date, one guy said, ‘Do you mind if I break wind in front of you?

#870
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Sep 22, 2011 07:54 PM - Misc - by Sam (woman)

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Is there any kind of anal sex other than SURPRISE anal sex?

#396
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Jan 29, 2011 09:20 PM - Sex - by Lyndsay (woman)

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So we are lying in bed after I just got him off because I was on my rag and he says: "Babe I think its great! It means theres no babys in there!" as he taps my crotch "keep it coming babe, the more blood the better I always say!"

#489
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Feb 15, 2011 10:23 PM - Sex - by G.access (woman)

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You know how some people call a bra an over-the-shoulder boulder holder? My guy calls mine a ‘pebble holder.'

#866
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Sep 22, 2011 07:30 PM - Misc - by Kathy (woman)

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One time he squeezed my sides and said, 'You're just like a pillow! A meat pillow!'

#854
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Sep 22, 2011 07:24 PM - Misc - by Amy (woman)

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I also think of your face. That keeps me running!

#390
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Jan 29, 2011 09:20 PM - Health - by Millie (woman)

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Me: I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time.
Him: I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating.

#410
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Jan 29, 2011 10:00 PM - Sex - by Carmella (woman)

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I received an e-mail today from my teacher telling me that her dog ate my homework! And that she was sincerely sorry. Ironic...

#846
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Aug 10, 2011 04:45 AM - School - by SchoolBlows (woman)

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As I was waiting on line at a store, I noticed the cashier had a British accent. When it was my turn, I faked a British accent in conversation. He asked me where I was from, so I admitted that I was faking. His British accent disappeared as he said, "Me too."

#847
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Aug 10, 2011 04:45 AM - Drunk - by GirlsLoveFakeBrits (woman)

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Today I was at a video game store. The kid in front of me was about 13 and trading in some games. The clerk opened a game case and the kid’s weed stash fell out. His mom was standing right next to him.

#842
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Aug 10, 2011 04:45 AM - Work - by DorkGF (woman)

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I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I'll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you're a total whore. But I want you to know there's always a chance for us - WTF?

#402
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Jan 29, 2011 09:26 PM - Love - by Cello (woman)

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Look at this shit sucker. Or as they say in Mexico, chuprakaka.

#394
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Jan 29, 2011 09:20 PM - Misc - by Shannon (woman)

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One night I was leaning on his stomach and I guess my elbow was digging into him. He told me, 'Babe, get up. You're hurting my ovaries.' I think he was serious and I couldn't help but burst out laughing.

#856
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Sep 22, 2011 07:24 PM - Misc - by Christine (woman)

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My 5 year old nephew said that a boy in his Kindergarten class had called him "Dumbo". My Mom asked him how he responded to the kid and my nephew replied, "I called him a fucking asshole."

#839
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Aug 10, 2011 04:44 AM - Misc - by ImADush (woman)

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"You seemed to be having a wet dream. Then you moaned more in your dream than when having sex with me."

#426
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Jan 30, 2011 12:31 AM - Sex - by Connie (woman)

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An ex once told me that women may have to deal with period issues, but guys have it way worse because they have 'inner butt hair'. When I pressed him on it, he said, 'Do you have any idea how difficult it makes wiping back there?'

#860
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Sep 22, 2011 07:24 PM - Sex - by Joann (woman)

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My bro had a wrestling match. I put Viagra in his water bottle! hehe

#848
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Aug 10, 2011 04:45 AM - Drunk - by Payback (woman)

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"I was still so drunk when I woke up, that i put my foot in the wank sock I keep by my bed!"

#422
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Jan 30, 2011 12:12 AM - Drunk - by Alex (woman)

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New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.

#411
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Jan 29, 2011 10:00 PM - Sex - by Shanna (woman)

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"This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me."

#418
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Jan 29, 2011 10:17 PM - School - by Megan (woman)

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