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I was in math class. I raised my hand and while the teacher was helping me, I got a text from my you and my tone is Navi from Legend of Zelda saying “Hey! Listen!” My teacher said without missing a beat, “Not now, Navi, he’s in math class.” Hilarious!
One night I was leaning on his stomach and I guess my elbow was digging into him. He told me, 'Babe, get up. You're hurting my ovaries.' I think he was serious and I couldn't help but burst out laughing.
Today, at my high school, my teacher announced that all the third hour classes would be having a door decorating contest for Martin Luther King Day. The boy next to me suggested that we duct tape the one black kid in the class to the door.
As I was waiting on line at a store, I noticed the cashier had a British accent. When it was my turn, I faked a British accent in conversation. He asked me where I was from, so I admitted that I was faking. His British accent disappeared as he said, "Me too."
He overheard me tell a friend I bought a DVF dress and later he told me he liked my 'DVDA' dress. I corrected him, but he said, 'Are you sure you don't mean DVDA? Double vaginal, double anal?' Uh, no I most definitely did not.
The other day in Biology, my teacher tried to explain that semen is comprised mostly of sugar, a blonde girl in the back pipes up “then why does it taste so salty?” She promptly ran out of the classroom with the reddest face. So happy you aren't that stupid, baby!
We were in bed hooking up. I was shirtless, but with my bra still on. Instead of taking my bra off, my boyfriend folded down the cup, revealing my nipple and exclaimed, 'Peek a boob!' What a mood killer.