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"I'm going go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea."

#414
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Jan 29, 2011 09:00 PM - Sex - by Sammie (woman)

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You're picking up the bill, right? I just bought us condoms yesterday.

#405
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Jan 29, 2011 08:26 PM - Sex - by Nina (woman)

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So last night my boyfriend and I are sitting around a fire with his parents and we were all pretty quiet for a minute, and then my bf's dad stands up and with this Indian accent says, "Me chief Hung Low, first name Hung, last name low" and proceeds to drop his pants and piss on the fire.

#427
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Jan 29, 2011 11:31 PM - Misc - by Ali (woman)

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"Wanna try this position tonight?"

#420
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Jan 29, 2011 10:35 PM - Sex - by Ellen (woman)

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"If and when I visit texas, whether it be in a year or two, or the 10 year high school reunion...remind me to beat your ass and sit on you..."

#401
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Jan 29, 2011 08:21 PM - Misc - by Lola (woman)

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"You seemed to be having a wet dream. Then you moaned more in your dream than when having sex with me."

#426
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Jan 29, 2011 11:31 PM - Sex - by Connie (woman)

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My boyfriend- "You're not stupid. You're a girl."

#936
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Sep 5, 2012 04:47 AM - Misc - by Kate (woman)

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My boyfriend "Girls are lucky, a girl can stick anything up there and it feels just like a dick."

#902
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Feb 3, 2012 06:18 PM - Sex - by KiaCouture (woman)

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"I have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my hair trimmer."

#425
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Jan 29, 2011 11:31 PM - Sex - by Merriam (woman)

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My boyfriend says, "I was listening to you, but I didn't hear you." WTF?!?

#408
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Jan 29, 2011 08:59 PM - Love - by mari_wink (woman)

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He overheard me tell a friend I bought a DVF dress and later he told me he liked my 'DVDA' dress. I corrected him, but he said, 'Are you sure you don't mean DVDA? Double vaginal, double anal?' Uh, no I most definitely did not.

#862
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Sep 22, 2011 06:29 PM - Misc - by Marie (woman)

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Is there any kind of anal sex other than SURPRISE anal sex?

#396
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Jan 29, 2011 08:20 PM - Sex - by Lyndsay (woman)

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Today I sucked helium out of a balloon, and tried singing, I finally matched the pitch of Justin Bieber in choir.

#843
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Aug 10, 2011 03:45 AM - School - by JBiebFan (woman)

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My bro had a wrestling match. I put Viagra in his water bottle! hehe

#848
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Aug 10, 2011 03:45 AM - Drunk - by Payback (woman)

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If you gave me a car made of diamonds and blowjobs all day, I still wouldn't drink that beer.

#395
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Jan 29, 2011 08:20 PM - Love - by Lulu (woman)

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Today, at my high school, my teacher announced that all the third hour classes would be having a door decorating contest for Martin Luther King Day. The boy next to me suggested that we duct tape the one black kid in the class to the door.

#849
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Aug 10, 2011 03:45 AM - School - by Payback (woman)

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On the first date, one guy said, ‘Do you mind if I break wind in front of you?

#870
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Sep 22, 2011 06:54 PM - Misc - by Sam (woman)

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"Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable."

#412
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Jan 29, 2011 09:00 PM - Drunk - by Stephanie (woman)

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You know how some people call a bra an over-the-shoulder boulder holder? My guy calls mine a ‘pebble holder.'

#866
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Sep 22, 2011 06:30 PM - Misc - by Kathy (woman)

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He said to me, ‘I can’t look at you when you have a pickle in your mouth.’

#863
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He's A Keeper! (16) - Dump His Ass! (9)

Sep 22, 2011 06:29 PM - Misc - by Tina (woman)

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