The Shit Your BF Says or Does
Bookmark and Share
Close This Box

Submit Your Story

Your Nickname :
Categories :
Gender? :

Random Stories

Sort: All Time | Today Only | This Week | This Month | This Year

Courting him with sour patch kids, you ho! (after I gave a lil kid some food).

#391
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (7) - Dump His Ass! (2)

Jan 30, 2011 02:20 AM - Kids - by Melissa (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

My ex asked, ‘Did you know that glass is made out of water?

#868
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (6) - Dump His Ass! (17)

Sep 22, 2011 11:54 PM - Misc - by Jessica (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

Hey you want to go to Bally's? I just saw a couple of really fat people and thought of you and me.

#392
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (5) - Dump His Ass! (8)

Jan 30, 2011 02:20 AM - Health - by Paula (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

I'm Asian and I have the "Asian Glow" every time I drink. The other day my boyfriend told me, if we ever got stranded in an island, he would keep feeding me alcohol so I will glow and keep it warm for both of us.

#900
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (17) - Dump His Ass! (2)

Dec 20, 2011 06:50 AM - Love - by nguyent12 (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

"If and when I visit texas, whether it be in a year or two, or the 10 year high school reunion...remind me to beat your ass and sit on you..."

#401
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (3) - Dump His Ass! (3)

Jan 30, 2011 02:21 AM - Misc - by Lola (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I'll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you're a total whore. But I want you to know there's always a chance for us - WTF?

#402
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (1) - Dump His Ass! (31)

Jan 30, 2011 02:26 AM - Love - by Cello (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." Wasn't a pretty picture... :(

#845
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (6) - Dump His Ass! (3)

Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Drunk - by StrippersSuckNow (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

You suck. What have you been up to? Besides working out twice a day obviously!

#393
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (8) - Dump His Ass! (0)

Jan 30, 2011 02:20 AM - Misc - by Myra (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

So we are lying in bed after I just got him off because I was on my rag and he says: "Babe I think its great! It means theres no babys in there!" as he taps my crotch "keep it coming babe, the more blood the better I always say!"

#489
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (7) - Dump His Ass! (11)

Feb 16, 2011 03:23 AM - Sex - by G.access (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

One time he squeezed my sides and said, 'You're just like a pillow! A meat pillow!'

#854
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (4) - Dump His Ass! (19)

Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Amy (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

You're picking up the bill, right? I just bought us condoms yesterday.

#405
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (1) - Dump His Ass! (42)

Jan 30, 2011 02:26 AM - Sex - by Nina (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

Ex-bf: "Wow, you are as big as a horse!"

#407
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (1) - Dump His Ass! (24)

Jan 30, 2011 02:26 AM - Love - by Laticia (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

(Went to Dallas for a church event.) Him: So have you found someone better at church? Me: Yes, Jesus! Him: A Mexican?

#400
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (14) - Dump His Ass! (6)

Jan 30, 2011 02:21 AM - Misc - by Allysa (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 


ShitMyBFSays.com Rocks!

#877
1 Comments

He's A Keeper! (5) - Dump His Ass! (5)

Oct 23, 6812 01:20 PM - Misc - by Stickam (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

My friend was trying to convince me we could have casual sex and his most persuasive line was, 'It doesn't count as sex if you use a condom.'

#859
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (3) - Dump His Ass! (33)

Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Sex - by Alex (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

The other day in Biology, my teacher tried to explain that semen is comprised mostly of sugar, a blonde girl in the back pipes up “then why does it taste so salty?” She promptly ran out of the classroom with the reddest face. So happy you aren't that stupid, baby!

#841
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (10) - Dump His Ass! (3)

Aug 10, 2011 08:44 AM - Sex - by Ashley (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

On the first date, one guy said, ‘Do you mind if I break wind in front of you?

#870
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (8) - Dump His Ass! (37)

Sep 22, 2011 11:54 PM - Misc - by Sam (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

So, my boyfriend was out of town for a few days to visit a college buddy of his... I get a text at 12:15am that says "Baby! I saw a tree that had a knot that looked like a vagina. I thought of you." Greeaatt.

#837
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (16) - Dump His Ass! (0)

Aug 10, 2011 08:44 AM - Sex - by Annie (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 


"Isn't this kind of what you did last week, baby?"

#419
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (5) - Dump His Ass! (1)

Jan 30, 2011 03:35 AM - Drunk - by Megan (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

My boyfriend- "You're not stupid. You're a girl."

#936
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (8) - Dump His Ass! (21)

Sep 5, 2012 09:47 AM - Misc - by Kate (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

Your Account
Username: Password:  Remember Me

Connect