The Shit Your BF Says or Does
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I was doing a strip tease for my boyfriend. He told me to stop and put on some clothes.

#406
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Jan 29, 2011 08:26 PM - Sex - by Michelle (woman)

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me: you could have been one of those guys that had lots of girlfriends

bf: nah, im good with just you

me: awww really?

bf: yup... im too lazy for more than one.

#852
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Sep 1, 2011 02:38 PM - Misc - by SweetTart (woman)

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He calls my boobs ‘beerbs’ because when I gain weight, I get bigger boobs instead of a beer belly.

#867
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Sep 22, 2011 06:30 PM - Misc - by Sunny (woman)

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Me: If you are using my washing machine, why do I still have to do all of your laundry?
Him: "Look between your legs, what do you see?...Exactly."

#939
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May 24, 2012 10:54 PM - Love - by coconutlover (woman)

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On the first date, one guy said, ‘Do you mind if I break wind in front of you?

#870
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Sep 22, 2011 06:54 PM - Misc - by Sam (woman)

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I was in math class. I raised my hand and while the teacher was helping me, I got a text from my you and my tone is Navi from Legend of Zelda saying “Hey! Listen!” My teacher said without missing a beat, “Not now, Navi, he’s in math class.” Hilarious!

#838
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Aug 10, 2011 03:44 AM - Misc - by Zelda (woman)

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My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.

#409
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Jan 29, 2011 08:59 PM - Sex - by Shelley (woman)

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My boyfriend asked me if i was born without a sex and had to choose between being female or male, which would I choose. i said i would be female. He said, "yeah, me too, I'd stick so much stuff up my vagina it would be untrue."

#981
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Sep 27, 2012 05:33 AM - Misc - by Jamiexlou (woman)

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New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.

#411
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Jan 29, 2011 09:00 PM - Sex - by Shanna (woman)

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Soon after we first met he said, ‘Please, keep your finger out of my butthole. Some chicks are freaky so I’m just getting it out of the way.'

#869
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Sep 22, 2011 06:54 PM - Misc - by Lisa (woman)

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She's going to hate herself in the morning, but at least she's having fun right now!

#417
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Jan 29, 2011 09:17 PM - Drunk - by Katy (woman)

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Look at this shit sucker. Or as they say in Mexico, chuprakaka.

#394
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Jan 29, 2011 08:20 PM - Misc - by Shannon (woman)

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"I have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my hair trimmer."

#425
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Jan 29, 2011 11:31 PM - Sex - by Merriam (woman)

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He says: "Fighting zombies wouldn't be totally awesome, but it wouldn't be the worst way to go out either. Just saying."

#959
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Aug 2, 2012 01:01 AM - Misc - by Tamarhino (woman)

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My 5 year old nephew said that a boy in his Kindergarten class had called him "Dumbo". My Mom asked him how he responded to the kid and my nephew replied, "I called him a fucking asshole."

#839
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Aug 10, 2011 03:44 AM - Misc - by ImADush (woman)

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I didn't think it was possible to out-queer figure skating, but look out! Here comes ice dancing!

#397
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Jan 29, 2011 08:21 PM - Misc - by Joanne (woman)

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God I love America.

#428
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Jan 29, 2011 11:52 PM - Health - by FattiesAreFunny (woman)

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You suck. What have you been up to? Besides working out twice a day obviously!

#393
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Jan 29, 2011 08:20 PM - Misc - by Myra (woman)

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While watching a movie I say "I like her dress" he replies "I like her face"!

#901
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Feb 3, 2012 06:18 PM - Misc - by Rhondamarie (woman)

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You know how some people call a bra an over-the-shoulder boulder holder? My guy calls mine a ‘pebble holder.'

#866
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Sep 22, 2011 06:30 PM - Misc - by Kathy (woman)

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