The Shit Your BF Says or Does
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I was out of town and my BF decided to throw a party. Saturday night at 1am, I receive a txt message: "What do you do when the pizza delivery guy passes out on your couch?"

#219 (0) - Dec 22, 2009 10:47 AM by Anonymous - Drunk - He's A Keeper! (28) - Dump His Ass! (10)

I need to stop coming to work sober.

#205 (0) - Dec 16, 2009 11:54 AM by Anonymous - Work - He's A Keeper! (11) - Dump His Ass! (20)

Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker".

#258 (0) - Jan 30, 2010 01:56 PM by Anonymous - Misc - He's A Keeper! (15) - Dump His Ass! (9)

My boyfriend gave me a bucket of Twizzlers for our 1 year anniversary because 'he knew I liked them.' He has no idea why I am so upset.

#140 (0) - Nov 15, 2009 02:41 PM by dumbbf - Love - He's A Keeper! (51) - Dump His Ass! (26)

He sent me a picture of Buzz Lightyear and put "My love for (myname) reaches Infinity and Beyond"

#160 (0) - Nov 19, 2009 04:41 AM by PM - Love - He's A Keeper! (87) - Dump His Ass! (9)

"Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates. "

#44 (0) - Sep 27, 2009 12:27 PM by Anonymous - Misc - He's A Keeper! (29) - Dump His Ass! (15)

I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.

#285 (0) - Jan 30, 2010 03:05 PM by Anonymous - Intimacy - He's A Keeper! (24) - Dump His Ass! (31)

I went on a date with an awesome guy. I got super hammered and punched him in the face.

#147 (0) - Nov 15, 2009 03:33 PM by Anonymous - Drunk - He's A Keeper! (44) - Dump His Ass! (10)

"Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good."

#183 (0) - Dec 3, 2009 12:42 PM by Anonymous - Drunk - He's A Keeper! (48) - Dump His Ass! (2)

"Babe, you can't leave me alone when I'm high anymore. I googled "computer make me bacon" last night and was so high, I waited for 5 minutes."

#230 (0) - Jan 1, 2010 08:20 PM by Anonymous - Health - He's A Keeper! (21) - Dump His Ass! (19)

He came on my face and told me to "bring a snorkel next time".

#241 (0) - Jan 7, 2010 07:03 PM by Anonymous - Breakups - He's A Keeper! (8) - Dump His Ass! (35)

my boyfriend just told me he thinks they make paper from tree pulp....

#235 (0) - Jan 3, 2010 05:08 PM by dezi - Misc - He's A Keeper! (36) - Dump His Ass! (7)

Today I was drunk and met a guy standing outside the club, we went to my place and had sex. In the morning I asked him where he lived. He responded seriously "I'm homeless."

#28 (0) - Sep 25, 2009 08:49 PM by Anonymous - Intimacy - He's A Keeper! (36) - Dump His Ass! (28)

i called my b/f. asked what he was doing. his reply. "im sitting on the couch with my g/f"...im currently at home...alone.

#81 (0) - Oct 6, 2009 08:59 PM by Anonymous - Love - He's A Keeper! (5) - Dump His Ass! (56)

The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.

#100 (0) - Nov 4, 2009 12:01 PM by Anonymous - Intimacy - He's A Keeper! (62) - Dump His Ass! (12)

I was doing a strip tease for my boyfriend. He told me to stop and put on some clothes.

#21 (0) - Sep 22, 2009 10:44 PM by Anonymous - Intimacy - He's A Keeper! (22) - Dump His Ass! (61)

u have the prettiest pussy i have ever seen come here let me make it purr for you

#316 (0) - May 17, 2010 07:32 PM by Anonymous - Love - He's A Keeper! (31) - Dump His Ass! (17)

I can't get the taste of vagina and period blood out of my mouth

#215 (0) - Dec 22, 2009 10:36 AM by Anonymous - Intimacy - He's A Keeper! (12) - Dump His Ass! (38)

The bearded lady ate my chips.

#62 (0) - Oct 2, 2009 11:29 PM by Anonymous - Misc - He's A Keeper! (19) - Dump His Ass! (5)

My boyfriend came home covered in scratches. He says it was the cat. Funny/scary thing is.. he was drinking with my parents last night.

#37 (0) - Sep 25, 2009 09:31 PM by Anonymous - Misc - He's A Keeper! (44) - Dump His Ass! (15)

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