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You suck. What have you been up to? Besides working out twice a day obviously!

#393
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He's A Keeper! (8) - Dump His Ass! (0)

Jan 30, 2011 02:20 AM - Misc - by Myra (woman)

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Today I was at a video game store. The kid in front of me was about 13 and trading in some games. The clerk opened a game case and the kid’s weed stash fell out. His mom was standing right next to him.

#842
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Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Work - by DorkGF (woman)

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He said, ‘Baby I want to try something. Can I dump my oatmeal on you and eat it off your boobs?'

#871
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He's A Keeper! (22) - Dump His Ass! (16)

Sep 29, 2011 06:01 AM - Misc - by Kimmy (woman)

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He says: "Fighting zombies wouldn't be totally awesome, but it wouldn't be the worst way to go out either. Just saying."

#959
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Aug 2, 2012 06:01 AM - Misc - by Tamarhino (woman)

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On the first date, one guy said, ‘Do you mind if I break wind in front of you?

#870
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Sep 22, 2011 11:54 PM - Misc - by Sam (woman)

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The first time he saw me curling my hair (and apparently the first time he saw any girl curling her hair), he asked, 'How long will that last? A few months or until it grows out and you cut it?' He actually thought that using a curling iron might be permanent.

#861
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Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Elizabeth (woman)

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"I couldn't tell if it was your finger...or if you had a penis..."

#421
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Jan 30, 2011 05:12 AM - Sex - by Allison (woman)

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He asked if gravity kept girls from getting pregnant when they are on top.

#857
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Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Julie (woman)

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My boyfriend- "You're not stupid. You're a girl."

#936
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Sep 5, 2012 09:47 AM - Misc - by Kate (woman)

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I just drunk dialed your mom! SHIT!

#1
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Dec 12, 2010 01:47 AM - Drunk - by prodjallen (man)

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She's going to hate herself in the morning, but at least she's having fun right now!

#417
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Jan 30, 2011 03:17 AM - Drunk - by Katy (woman)

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A Man At The Gym Asks His Trainer " Which Machine Do I Need To Use In Order To Attract All The Beautiful Women " The Trainer Responds " The ATM Machine Outside "

#604
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Dec 8, 2579 01:09 PM - Money - by Allen Analian (man)

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"You seemed to be having a wet dream. Then you moaned more in your dream than when having sex with me."

#426
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Jan 30, 2011 05:31 AM - Sex - by Connie (woman)

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My boyfriend says, "I was listening to you, but I didn't hear you." WTF?!?

#408
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Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Love - by mari_wink (woman)

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"Wanna try this position tonight?"

#420
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Jan 30, 2011 04:35 AM - Sex - by Ellen (woman)

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He said to me, ‘I can’t look at you when you have a pickle in your mouth.’

#863
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Sep 22, 2011 11:29 PM - Misc - by Tina (woman)

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him (on the phone): you're a fucking scumbag, and I want to choke you to death.
me: *click*

him (email): why are you ignoring me? That's an act of aggression.

#851
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Sep 1, 2011 07:38 PM - Breakups - by puh-leeze (woman)

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My bro had a wrestling match. I put Viagra in his water bottle! hehe

#848
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Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Drunk - by Payback (woman)

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An ex once told me that women may have to deal with period issues, but guys have it way worse because they have 'inner butt hair'. When I pressed him on it, he said, 'Do you have any idea how difficult it makes wiping back there?'

#860
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Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Sex - by Joann (woman)

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My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.

#409
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He's A Keeper! (8) - Dump His Ass! (19)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Sex - by Shelley (woman)

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