The Shit Your BF Says or Does
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Courting him with sour patch kids, you ho! (after I gave a lil kid some food).

#391
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Jan 30, 2011 02:20 AM - Kids - by Melissa (woman)

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So last night my boyfriend and I are sitting around a fire with his parents and we were all pretty quiet for a minute, and then my bf's dad stands up and with this Indian accent says, "Me chief Hung Low, first name Hung, last name low" and proceeds to drop his pants and piss on the fire.

#427
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Jan 30, 2011 05:31 AM - Misc - by Ali (woman)

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Soon after we first met he said, ‘Please, keep your finger out of my butthole. Some chicks are freaky so I’m just getting it out of the way.'

#869
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Sep 22, 2011 11:54 PM - Misc - by Lisa (woman)

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I just drunk dialed your mom! SHIT!

#1
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Dec 12, 2010 01:47 AM - Drunk - by prodjallen (man)

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He says: "Fighting zombies wouldn't be totally awesome, but it wouldn't be the worst way to go out either. Just saying."

#959
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Aug 2, 2012 06:01 AM - Misc - by Tamarhino (woman)

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My man and I were out for a romantic brunch at this nice restaurant and he ordered a fruit parfait. When he was finished he said, 'It would have been better without the cantaloupe and antelope.' Turns out he meant honey dew.

#855
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Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Jordan (woman)

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She's going to hate herself in the morning, but at least she's having fun right now!

#417
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Jan 30, 2011 03:17 AM - Drunk - by Katy (woman)

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I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I'll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you're a total whore. But I want you to know there's always a chance for us - WTF?

#402
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Jan 30, 2011 02:26 AM - Love - by Cello (woman)

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him (on the phone): you're a fucking scumbag, and I want to choke you to death.
me: *click*

him (email): why are you ignoring me? That's an act of aggression.

#851
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Sep 1, 2011 07:38 PM - Breakups - by puh-leeze (woman)

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An ex once told me that women may have to deal with period issues, but guys have it way worse because they have 'inner butt hair'. When I pressed him on it, he said, 'Do you have any idea how difficult it makes wiping back there?'

#860
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Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Sex - by Joann (woman)

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He overheard me tell a friend I bought a DVF dress and later he told me he liked my 'DVDA' dress. I corrected him, but he said, 'Are you sure you don't mean DVDA? Double vaginal, double anal?' Uh, no I most definitely did not.

#862
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Sep 22, 2011 11:29 PM - Misc - by Marie (woman)

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You suck. What have you been up to? Besides working out twice a day obviously!

#393
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Jan 30, 2011 02:20 AM - Misc - by Myra (woman)

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Me: If you are using my washing machine, why do I still have to do all of your laundry?
Him: "Look between your legs, what do you see?...Exactly."

#939
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May 25, 2012 03:54 AM - Love - by coconutlover (woman)

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My bro had a wrestling match. I put Viagra in his water bottle! hehe

#848
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Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Drunk - by Payback (woman)

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"You shouldn't let your vagina make the decisions any more...it makes bad ones."

#424
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Jan 30, 2011 05:31 AM - Misc - by Ashley (woman)

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"I have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my hair trimmer."

#425
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Jan 30, 2011 05:31 AM - Sex - by Merriam (woman)

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I also think of your face. That keeps me running!

#390
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Jan 30, 2011 02:20 AM - Health - by Millie (woman)

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(Went to Dallas for a church event.) Him: So have you found someone better at church? Me: Yes, Jesus! Him: A Mexican?

#400
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Jan 30, 2011 02:21 AM - Misc - by Allysa (woman)

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We were in bed hooking up. I was shirtless, but with my bra still on. Instead of taking my bra off, my boyfriend folded down the cup, revealing my nipple and exclaimed, 'Peek a boob!' What a mood killer.

#858
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Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Katie (woman)

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A Man At The Gym Asks His Trainer " Which Machine Do I Need To Use In Order To Attract All The Beautiful Women " The Trainer Responds " The ATM Machine Outside "

#604
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He's A Keeper! (21) - Dump His Ass! (2)

May 22, 2579 01:09 PM - Money - by Allen Analian (man)

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