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An ex once told me that women may have to deal with period issues, but guys have it way worse because they have 'inner butt hair'. When I pressed him on it, he said, 'Do you have any idea how difficult it makes wiping back there?'

#860
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Sep 22, 2011 06:24 PM - Sex - by Joann (woman)

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Today I was at a video game store. The kid in front of me was about 13 and trading in some games. The clerk opened a game case and the kid’s weed stash fell out. His mom was standing right next to him.

#842
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Aug 10, 2011 03:45 AM - Work - by DorkGF (woman)

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What my boyfriend told me on the phone when I wanted to see him: "I'm like a reserved table, you have to reserve time with me and right now, all my friends got my time."

#404
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Jan 29, 2011 08:26 PM - Love - by Lisa (woman)

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So last night my boyfriend and I are sitting around a fire with his parents and we were all pretty quiet for a minute, and then my bf's dad stands up and with this Indian accent says, "Me chief Hung Low, first name Hung, last name low" and proceeds to drop his pants and piss on the fire.

#427
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Jan 29, 2011 11:31 PM - Misc - by Ali (woman)

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I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.

#413
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Jan 29, 2011 09:00 PM - Drunk - by Melanie (woman)

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"You shouldn't let your vagina make the decisions any more...it makes bad ones."

#424
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Jan 29, 2011 11:31 PM - Misc - by Ashley (woman)

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As I was waiting on line at a store, I noticed the cashier had a British accent. When it was my turn, I faked a British accent in conversation. He asked me where I was from, so I admitted that I was faking. His British accent disappeared as he said, "Me too."

#847
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Aug 10, 2011 03:45 AM - Drunk - by GirlsLoveFakeBrits (woman)

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"I'm going go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea."

#414
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Jan 29, 2011 09:00 PM - Sex - by Sammie (woman)

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My man and I were out for a romantic brunch at this nice restaurant and he ordered a fruit parfait. When he was finished he said, 'It would have been better without the cantaloupe and antelope.' Turns out he meant honey dew.

#855
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Sep 22, 2011 06:24 PM - Misc - by Jordan (woman)

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"I couldn't tell if it was your finger...or if you had a penis..."

#421
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Jan 29, 2011 11:12 PM - Sex - by Allison (woman)

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He calls my boobs ‘beerbs’ because when I gain weight, I get bigger boobs instead of a beer belly.

#867
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Sep 22, 2011 06:30 PM - Misc - by Sunny (woman)

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me: you could have been one of those guys that had lots of girlfriends

bf: nah, im good with just you

me: awww really?

bf: yup... im too lazy for more than one.

#852
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Sep 1, 2011 02:38 PM - Misc - by SweetTart (woman)

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He said to me, ‘I can’t look at you when you have a pickle in your mouth.’

#863
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Sep 22, 2011 06:29 PM - Misc - by Tina (woman)

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My boyfriend- "You're not stupid. You're a girl."

#936
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Sep 5, 2012 04:47 AM - Misc - by Kate (woman)

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My mom told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time.

#423
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Jan 29, 2011 11:12 PM - Love - by Andrea (woman)

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My boyfriend says, "I was listening to you, but I didn't hear you." WTF?!?

#408
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Jan 29, 2011 08:59 PM - Love - by mari_wink (woman)

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We were in bed hooking up. I was shirtless, but with my bra still on. Instead of taking my bra off, my boyfriend folded down the cup, revealing my nipple and exclaimed, 'Peek a boob!' What a mood killer.

#858
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Sep 22, 2011 06:24 PM - Misc - by Katie (woman)

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She's going to hate herself in the morning, but at least she's having fun right now!

#417
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Jan 29, 2011 09:17 PM - Drunk - by Katy (woman)

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I'm Asian and I have the "Asian Glow" every time I drink. The other day my boyfriend told me, if we ever got stranded in an island, he would keep feeding me alcohol so I will glow and keep it warm for both of us.

#900
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Dec 20, 2011 12:50 AM - Love - by nguyent12 (woman)

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Me: I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time.
Him: I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating.

#410
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He's A Keeper! (13) - Dump His Ass! (7)

Jan 29, 2011 09:00 PM - Sex - by Carmella (woman)

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