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Today I was at a video game store. The kid in front of me was about 13 and trading in some games. The clerk opened a game case and the kid’s weed stash fell out. His mom was standing right next to him.

#842
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He's A Keeper! (1) - Dump His Ass! (4)

Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Work - by DorkGF (woman)

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I received an e-mail today from my teacher telling me that her dog ate my homework! And that she was sincerely sorry. Ironic...

#846
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He's A Keeper! (13) - Dump His Ass! (1)

Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - School - by SchoolBlows (woman)

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Courting him with sour patch kids, you ho! (after I gave a lil kid some food).

#391
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Jan 30, 2011 02:20 AM - Kids - by Melissa (woman)

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An ex once told me that women may have to deal with period issues, but guys have it way worse because they have 'inner butt hair'. When I pressed him on it, he said, 'Do you have any idea how difficult it makes wiping back there?'

#860
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Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Sex - by Joann (woman)

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My friend was trying to convince me we could have casual sex and his most persuasive line was, 'It doesn't count as sex if you use a condom.'

#859
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He's A Keeper! (3) - Dump His Ass! (35)

Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Sex - by Alex (woman)

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My brother got kicked out of Barnes and Noble for placing Bibles in the fiction section.

#850
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Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Family - by ambs (woman)

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He calls my boobs ‘beerbs’ because when I gain weight, I get bigger boobs instead of a beer belly.

#867
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Sep 22, 2011 11:30 PM - Misc - by Sunny (woman)

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ShitMyBFSays.com Rocks!

#877
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Apr 20, 6812 01:20 PM - Misc - by Stickam (woman)

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The first time he saw me curling my hair (and apparently the first time he saw any girl curling her hair), he asked, 'How long will that last? A few months or until it grows out and you cut it?' He actually thought that using a curling iron might be permanent.

#861
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Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Elizabeth (woman)

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My boyfriend- "You're not stupid. You're a girl."

#936
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Sep 5, 2012 09:47 AM - Misc - by Kate (woman)

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On the first date, one guy said, ‘Do you mind if I break wind in front of you?

#870
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Sep 22, 2011 11:54 PM - Misc - by Sam (woman)

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I was sitting on the couch wrapped up in a blanket and he said, completely seriously, 'If you were a burrito, I'd eat you.' He thought it was such a sexy line.

#853
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He's A Keeper! (27) - Dump His Ass! (2)

Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Bree (woman)

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He overheard me tell a friend I bought a DVF dress and later he told me he liked my 'DVDA' dress. I corrected him, but he said, 'Are you sure you don't mean DVDA? Double vaginal, double anal?' Uh, no I most definitely did not.

#862
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Sep 22, 2011 11:29 PM - Misc - by Marie (woman)

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I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.

#413
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Jan 30, 2011 03:00 AM - Drunk - by Melanie (woman)

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"Wanna try this position tonight?"

#420
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Jan 30, 2011 04:35 AM - Sex - by Ellen (woman)

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My boyfriend once told me, ‘I wish I had a vagine. That way I would have a place to put things."

#864
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He's A Keeper! (19) - Dump His Ass! (9)

Sep 22, 2011 11:29 PM - Misc - by Jamie (woman)

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if your guy turns to u and says this....
*BF: Hey babe do u like turkey sausage?
*Girl: Uh.... yeah why?
*BF: then come gobble it up!
And points at his crotch its time to get rid of him!

#984
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Oct 10, 2012 05:58 PM - Breakups - by SRock (woman)

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(Went to Dallas for a church event.) Him: So have you found someone better at church? Me: Yes, Jesus! Him: A Mexican?

#400
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Jan 30, 2011 02:21 AM - Misc - by Allysa (woman)

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While watching a movie I say "I like her dress" he replies "I like her face"!

#901
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He's A Keeper! (6) - Dump His Ass! (27)

Feb 4, 2012 12:18 AM - Misc - by Rhondamarie (woman)

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"I was still so drunk when I woke up, that i put my foot in the wank sock I keep by my bed!"

#422
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He's A Keeper! (2) - Dump His Ass! (16)

Jan 30, 2011 05:12 AM - Drunk - by Alex (woman)

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