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I'm Asian and I have the "Asian Glow" every time I drink. The other day my boyfriend told me, if we ever got stranded in an island, he would keep feeding me alcohol so I will glow and keep it warm for both of us.

#900
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He's A Keeper! (20) - Dump His Ass! (3)

Dec 20, 2011 06:50 AM - Love - by nguyent12 (woman)

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"You seemed to be having a wet dream. Then you moaned more in your dream than when having sex with me."

#426
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Jan 30, 2011 05:31 AM - Sex - by Connie (woman)

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He said, ‘Baby I want to try something. Can I dump my oatmeal on you and eat it off your boobs?'

#871
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Sep 29, 2011 06:01 AM - Misc - by Kimmy (woman)

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I didn't think it was possible to out-queer figure skating, but look out! Here comes ice dancing!

#397
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Jan 30, 2011 02:21 AM - Misc - by Joanne (woman)

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I was doing a strip tease for my boyfriend. He told me to stop and put on some clothes.

#406
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Jan 30, 2011 02:26 AM - Sex - by Michelle (woman)

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Hey you want to go to Bally's? I just saw a couple of really fat people and thought of you and me.

#392
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Jan 30, 2011 02:20 AM - Health - by Paula (woman)

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"Wanna try this position tonight?"

#420
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Jan 30, 2011 04:35 AM - Sex - by Ellen (woman)

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God I love America.

#428
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Jan 30, 2011 05:52 AM - Health - by FattiesAreFunny (woman)

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My bro had a wrestling match. I put Viagra in his water bottle! hehe

#848
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Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Drunk - by Payback (woman)

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"This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me."

#418
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Jan 30, 2011 03:17 AM - School - by Megan (woman)

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What my boyfriend told me on the phone when I wanted to see him: "I'm like a reserved table, you have to reserve time with me and right now, all my friends got my time."

#404
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Jan 30, 2011 02:26 AM - Love - by Lisa (woman)

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My ex asked, ‘Did you know that glass is made out of water?

#868
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Sep 22, 2011 11:54 PM - Misc - by Jessica (woman)

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Ex-bf: "Wow, you are as big as a horse!"

#407
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Jan 30, 2011 02:26 AM - Love - by Laticia (woman)

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Boyfriend- "Is lady time over yet?"

#937
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Sep 5, 2012 09:48 AM - Misc - by Kate (woman)

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My friend's brother is mentally challenged but still lives on his own. One day he called his sister and told her to come over quickly because he had trapped a gnome. She arrived there about 5 hours later and she moved the table, opened the door, there was a midget Jahovah witness in the closet!

#840
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Aug 10, 2011 08:44 AM - Misc - by ILoveIt (woman)

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"They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of the bar."

#415
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Jan 30, 2011 03:00 AM - Drunk - by Carly (woman)

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My friend was trying to convince me we could have casual sex and his most persuasive line was, 'It doesn't count as sex if you use a condom.'

#859
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Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Sex - by Alex (woman)

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She's going to hate herself in the morning, but at least she's having fun right now!

#417
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Jan 30, 2011 03:17 AM - Drunk - by Katy (woman)

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I was in math class. I raised my hand and while the teacher was helping me, I got a text from my you and my tone is Navi from Legend of Zelda saying “Hey! Listen!” My teacher said without missing a beat, “Not now, Navi, he’s in math class.” Hilarious!

#838
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Aug 10, 2011 08:44 AM - Misc - by Zelda (woman)

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Yes, I fucked a duck.

#399
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He's A Keeper! (2) - Dump His Ass! (11)

Jan 30, 2011 02:21 AM - Sex - by Shauna (woman)

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