The Shit Your BF Says or Does
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When I told him my period was a bit late, he freaked out and exclaimed, ‘I knew BJs could get you pregnant!

#865
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Sep 22, 2011 11:29 PM - Misc - by Katie (woman)

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While watching a movie I say "I like her dress" he replies "I like her face"!

#901
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Feb 4, 2012 12:18 AM - Misc - by Rhondamarie (woman)

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As I was waiting on line at a store, I noticed the cashier had a British accent. When it was my turn, I faked a British accent in conversation. He asked me where I was from, so I admitted that I was faking. His British accent disappeared as he said, "Me too."

#847
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Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Drunk - by GirlsLoveFakeBrits (woman)

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I didn't think it was possible to out-queer figure skating, but look out! Here comes ice dancing!

#397
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Jan 30, 2011 02:21 AM - Misc - by Joanne (woman)

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Soon after we first met he said, ‘Please, keep your finger out of my butthole. Some chicks are freaky so I’m just getting it out of the way.'

#869
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Sep 22, 2011 11:54 PM - Misc - by Lisa (woman)

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My mom told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time.

#423
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Jan 30, 2011 05:12 AM - Love - by Andrea (woman)

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New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.

#411
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Jan 30, 2011 03:00 AM - Sex - by Shanna (woman)

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I was in math class. I raised my hand and while the teacher was helping me, I got a text from my you and my tone is Navi from Legend of Zelda saying “Hey! Listen!” My teacher said without missing a beat, “Not now, Navi, he’s in math class.” Hilarious!

#838
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Aug 10, 2011 08:44 AM - Misc - by Zelda (woman)

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I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.

#413
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Jan 30, 2011 03:00 AM - Drunk - by Melanie (woman)

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The first time he saw me curling my hair (and apparently the first time he saw any girl curling her hair), he asked, 'How long will that last? A few months or until it grows out and you cut it?' He actually thought that using a curling iron might be permanent.

#861
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Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Elizabeth (woman)

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me: you could have been one of those guys that had lots of girlfriends

bf: nah, im good with just you

me: awww really?

bf: yup... im too lazy for more than one.

#852
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Sep 1, 2011 07:38 PM - Misc - by SweetTart (woman)

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He says: "Fighting zombies wouldn't be totally awesome, but it wouldn't be the worst way to go out either. Just saying."

#959
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Aug 2, 2012 06:01 AM - Misc - by Tamarhino (woman)

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I'm Asian and I have the "Asian Glow" every time I drink. The other day my boyfriend told me, if we ever got stranded in an island, he would keep feeding me alcohol so I will glow and keep it warm for both of us.

#900
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Dec 20, 2011 06:50 AM - Love - by nguyent12 (woman)

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My ex asked, ‘Did you know that glass is made out of water?

#868
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Sep 22, 2011 11:54 PM - Misc - by Jessica (woman)

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One time he squeezed my sides and said, 'You're just like a pillow! A meat pillow!'

#854
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Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Amy (woman)

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(Went to Dallas for a church event.) Him: So have you found someone better at church? Me: Yes, Jesus! Him: A Mexican?

#400
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Jan 30, 2011 02:21 AM - Misc - by Allysa (woman)

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She's going to hate herself in the morning, but at least she's having fun right now!

#417
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Jan 30, 2011 03:17 AM - Drunk - by Katy (woman)

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My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.

#409
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Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Sex - by Shelley (woman)

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"I couldn't tell if it was your finger...or if you had a penis..."

#421
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Jan 30, 2011 05:12 AM - Sex - by Allison (woman)

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My boyfriend thought the purpose of tampons is to alleviate menstrual pain...

#874
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Jan 20, 8257 01:19 PM - Love - by Beanz (woman)

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