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We were showering together and I realized he was putting conditioner on his pubes and chest hair. He explained, ‘It’s important that it be soft and silky.’ He was totally serious.

#872
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Sep 29, 2011 12:01 AM - Misc - by Tara (woman)

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"You seemed to be having a wet dream. Then you moaned more in your dream than when having sex with me."

#426
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Jan 29, 2011 10:31 PM - Sex - by Connie (woman)

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I'm Asian and I have the "Asian Glow" every time I drink. The other day my boyfriend told me, if we ever got stranded in an island, he would keep feeding me alcohol so I will glow and keep it warm for both of us.

#900
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Dec 19, 2011 11:50 PM - Love - by nguyent12 (woman)

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Look at this shit sucker. Or as they say in Mexico, chuprakaka.

#394
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Jan 29, 2011 07:20 PM - Misc - by Shannon (woman)

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"I'm going go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea."

#414
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Jan 29, 2011 08:00 PM - Sex - by Sammie (woman)

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Hey you want to go to Bally's? I just saw a couple of really fat people and thought of you and me.

#392
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Jan 29, 2011 07:20 PM - Health - by Paula (woman)

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My bro had a wrestling match. I put Viagra in his water bottle! hehe

#848
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Aug 10, 2011 02:45 AM - Drunk - by Payback (woman)

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What my boyfriend told me on the phone when I wanted to see him: "I'm like a reserved table, you have to reserve time with me and right now, all my friends got my time."

#404
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Jan 29, 2011 07:26 PM - Love - by Lisa (woman)

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ShitMyBFSays.com Rocks!

#877
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May 24, 6812 01:20 PM - Misc - by Stickam (woman)

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God I love America.

#428
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Jan 29, 2011 10:52 PM - Health - by FattiesAreFunny (woman)

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I also think of your face. That keeps me running!

#390
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Jan 29, 2011 07:20 PM - Health - by Millie (woman)

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She's going to hate herself in the morning, but at least she's having fun right now!

#417
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Jan 29, 2011 08:17 PM - Drunk - by Katy (woman)

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You know how some people call a bra an over-the-shoulder boulder holder? My guy calls mine a ‘pebble holder.'

#866
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Sep 22, 2011 05:30 PM - Misc - by Kathy (woman)

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Is there any kind of anal sex other than SURPRISE anal sex?

#396
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Jan 29, 2011 07:20 PM - Sex - by Lyndsay (woman)

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My 5 year old nephew said that a boy in his Kindergarten class had called him "Dumbo". My Mom asked him how he responded to the kid and my nephew replied, "I called him a fucking asshole."

#839
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Aug 10, 2011 02:44 AM - Misc - by ImADush (woman)

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When I told him my period was a bit late, he freaked out and exclaimed, ‘I knew BJs could get you pregnant!

#865
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Sep 22, 2011 05:29 PM - Misc - by Katie (woman)

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I was in math class. I raised my hand and while the teacher was helping me, I got a text from my you and my tone is Navi from Legend of Zelda saying “Hey! Listen!” My teacher said without missing a beat, “Not now, Navi, he’s in math class.” Hilarious!

#838
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Aug 10, 2011 02:44 AM - Misc - by Zelda (woman)

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So we are lying in bed after I just got him off because I was on my rag and he says: "Babe I think its great! It means theres no babys in there!" as he taps my crotch "keep it coming babe, the more blood the better I always say!"

#489
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Feb 15, 2011 08:23 PM - Sex - by G.access (woman)

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He calls my boobs ‘beerbs’ because when I gain weight, I get bigger boobs instead of a beer belly.

#867
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Sep 22, 2011 05:30 PM - Misc - by Sunny (woman)

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A Man At The Gym Asks His Trainer " Which Machine Do I Need To Use In Order To Attract All The Beautiful Women " The Trainer Responds " The ATM Machine Outside "

#604
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May 24, 2579 01:09 PM - Money - by Allen Analian (man)

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