The Shit Your BF Says or Does
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if your guy turns to u and says this....
*BF: Hey babe do u like turkey sausage?
*Girl: Uh.... yeah why?
*BF: then come gobble it up!
And points at his crotch its time to get rid of him!

#984
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He's A Keeper! (19) - Dump His Ass! (13)

Oct 10, 2012 05:58 PM - Breakups - by SRock (woman)

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I'm Asian and I have the "Asian Glow" every time I drink. The other day my boyfriend told me, if we ever got stranded in an island, he would keep feeding me alcohol so I will glow and keep it warm for both of us.

#900
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He's A Keeper! (20) - Dump His Ass! (3)

Dec 20, 2011 06:50 AM - Love - by nguyent12 (woman)

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My ex asked, ‘Did you know that glass is made out of water?

#868
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He's A Keeper! (7) - Dump His Ass! (22)

Sep 22, 2011 11:54 PM - Misc - by Jessica (woman)

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My man and I were out for a romantic brunch at this nice restaurant and he ordered a fruit parfait. When he was finished he said, 'It would have been better without the cantaloupe and antelope.' Turns out he meant honey dew.

#855
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He's A Keeper! (12) - Dump His Ass! (2)

Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Jordan (woman)

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You suck. What have you been up to? Besides working out twice a day obviously!

#393
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He's A Keeper! (8) - Dump His Ass! (0)

Jan 30, 2011 02:20 AM - Misc - by Myra (woman)

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Today I sucked helium out of a balloon, and tried singing, I finally matched the pitch of Justin Bieber in choir.

#843
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He's A Keeper! (10) - Dump His Ass! (0)

Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - School - by JBiebFan (woman)

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When I told him my period was a bit late, he freaked out and exclaimed, ‘I knew BJs could get you pregnant!

#865
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He's A Keeper! (8) - Dump His Ass! (38)

Sep 22, 2011 11:29 PM - Misc - by Katie (woman)

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My bro had a wrestling match. I put Viagra in his water bottle! hehe

#848
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He's A Keeper! (22) - Dump His Ass! (11)

Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Drunk - by Payback (woman)

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One time he squeezed my sides and said, 'You're just like a pillow! A meat pillow!'

#854
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Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Amy (woman)

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My boyfriend thought the purpose of tampons is to alleviate menstrual pain...

#874
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Sep 16, 8257 01:19 PM - Love - by Beanz (woman)

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My mom told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time.

#423
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Jan 30, 2011 05:12 AM - Love - by Andrea (woman)

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As we are sitting in my BFs bed after I just got him off instead of sex cause I was on my period and he taps my crotch and says babe I think its great!! That means no baby in there. The more blood the better I alway say!!

#490
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Feb 16, 2011 03:28 AM - Sex - by G.access (woman)

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I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.

#413
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He's A Keeper! (15) - Dump His Ass! (0)

Jan 30, 2011 03:00 AM - Drunk - by Melanie (woman)

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I was sitting on the couch wrapped up in a blanket and he said, completely seriously, 'If you were a burrito, I'd eat you.' He thought it was such a sexy line.

#853
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He's A Keeper! (27) - Dump His Ass! (2)

Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Bree (woman)

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The other day I wrote a to-do list and left it on my BF's table. After he read it he said: "This is the most logical letter you have ever given me."

#963
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He's A Keeper! (29) - Dump His Ass! (8)

Sep 5, 2012 09:51 AM - Misc - by Ruhruh (woman)

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"Isn't this kind of what you did last week, baby?"

#419
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He's A Keeper! (5) - Dump His Ass! (1)

Jan 30, 2011 03:35 AM - Drunk - by Megan (woman)

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me: you could have been one of those guys that had lots of girlfriends

bf: nah, im good with just you

me: awww really?

bf: yup... im too lazy for more than one.

#852
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He's A Keeper! (23) - Dump His Ass! (6)

Sep 1, 2011 07:38 PM - Misc - by SweetTart (woman)

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Today, at my high school, my teacher announced that all the third hour classes would be having a door decorating contest for Martin Luther King Day. The boy next to me suggested that we duct tape the one black kid in the class to the door.

#849
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Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - School - by Payback (woman)

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I was in math class. I raised my hand and while the teacher was helping me, I got a text from my you and my tone is Navi from Legend of Zelda saying “Hey! Listen!” My teacher said without missing a beat, “Not now, Navi, he’s in math class.” Hilarious!

#838
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He's A Keeper! (13) - Dump His Ass! (1)

Aug 10, 2011 08:44 AM - Misc - by Zelda (woman)

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My boyfriend asked me if i was born without a sex and had to choose between being female or male, which would I choose. i said i would be female. He said, "yeah, me too, I'd stick so much stuff up my vagina it would be untrue."

#981
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He's A Keeper! (10) - Dump His Ass! (9)

Sep 27, 2012 10:33 AM - Misc - by Jamiexlou (woman)

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