The Shit Your BF Says or Does
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I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.

#413
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Jan 29, 2011 09:00 PM - Drunk - by Melanie (woman)

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As I was waiting on line at a store, I noticed the cashier had a British accent. When it was my turn, I faked a British accent in conversation. He asked me where I was from, so I admitted that I was faking. His British accent disappeared as he said, "Me too."

#847
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Aug 10, 2011 03:45 AM - Drunk - by GirlsLoveFakeBrits (woman)

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Soon after we first met he said, ‘Please, keep your finger out of my butthole. Some chicks are freaky so I’m just getting it out of the way.'

#869
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Sep 22, 2011 06:54 PM - Misc - by Lisa (woman)

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I was complaining about me gaining weight, and having a fat belly, when my boyfriend said, 'hey, don't treat it bad ok, my babies are gonna be there someday"

#907
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Sep 5, 2012 04:46 AM - Love - by bigbelly (woman)

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I also think of your face. That keeps me running!

#390
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Jan 29, 2011 08:20 PM - Health - by Millie (woman)

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Is there any kind of anal sex other than SURPRISE anal sex?

#396
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Jan 29, 2011 08:20 PM - Sex - by Lyndsay (woman)

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I was in math class. I raised my hand and while the teacher was helping me, I got a text from my you and my tone is Navi from Legend of Zelda saying “Hey! Listen!” My teacher said without missing a beat, “Not now, Navi, he’s in math class.” Hilarious!

#838
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Aug 10, 2011 03:44 AM - Misc - by Zelda (woman)

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My friend was trying to convince me we could have casual sex and his most persuasive line was, 'It doesn't count as sex if you use a condom.'

#859
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Sep 22, 2011 06:24 PM - Sex - by Alex (woman)

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One time he squeezed my sides and said, 'You're just like a pillow! A meat pillow!'

#854
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Sep 22, 2011 06:24 PM - Misc - by Amy (woman)

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Today, at my high school, my teacher announced that all the third hour classes would be having a door decorating contest for Martin Luther King Day. The boy next to me suggested that we duct tape the one black kid in the class to the door.

#849
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Aug 10, 2011 03:45 AM - School - by Payback (woman)

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"If and when I visit texas, whether it be in a year or two, or the 10 year high school reunion...remind me to beat your ass and sit on you..."

#401
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Jan 29, 2011 08:21 PM - Misc - by Lola (woman)

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The other day I wrote a to-do list and left it on my BF's table. After he read it he said: "This is the most logical letter you have ever given me."

#963
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Sep 5, 2012 04:51 AM - Misc - by Ruhruh (woman)

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"I'm going go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea."

#414
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Jan 29, 2011 09:00 PM - Sex - by Sammie (woman)

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On the first date, one guy said, ‘Do you mind if I break wind in front of you?

#870
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Sep 22, 2011 06:54 PM - Misc - by Sam (woman)

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Today I was at a video game store. The kid in front of me was about 13 and trading in some games. The clerk opened a game case and the kid’s weed stash fell out. His mom was standing right next to him.

#842
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Aug 10, 2011 03:45 AM - Work - by DorkGF (woman)

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If you gave me a car made of diamonds and blowjobs all day, I still wouldn't drink that beer.

#395
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Jan 29, 2011 08:20 PM - Love - by Lulu (woman)

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"I couldn't tell if it was your finger...or if you had a penis..."

#421
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Jan 29, 2011 11:12 PM - Sex - by Allison (woman)

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What my boyfriend told me on the phone when I wanted to see him: "I'm like a reserved table, you have to reserve time with me and right now, all my friends got my time."

#404
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Jan 29, 2011 08:26 PM - Love - by Lisa (woman)

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She's going to hate herself in the morning, but at least she's having fun right now!

#417
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Jan 29, 2011 09:17 PM - Drunk - by Katy (woman)

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(Went to Dallas for a church event.) Him: So have you found someone better at church? Me: Yes, Jesus! Him: A Mexican?

#400
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Jan 29, 2011 08:21 PM - Misc - by Allysa (woman)

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