The Shit Your BF Says or Does
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I was complaining about me gaining weight, and having a fat belly, when my boyfriend said, 'hey, don't treat it bad ok, my babies are gonna be there someday"

#907
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Sep 5, 2012 09:46 AM - Love - by bigbelly (woman)

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"They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of the bar."

#415
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Jan 30, 2011 03:00 AM - Drunk - by Carly (woman)

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What my boyfriend told me on the phone when I wanted to see him: "I'm like a reserved table, you have to reserve time with me and right now, all my friends got my time."

#404
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Jan 30, 2011 02:26 AM - Love - by Lisa (woman)

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Today, at my high school, my teacher announced that all the third hour classes would be having a door decorating contest for Martin Luther King Day. The boy next to me suggested that we duct tape the one black kid in the class to the door.

#849
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Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - School - by Payback (woman)

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You know how some people call a bra an over-the-shoulder boulder holder? My guy calls mine a ‘pebble holder.'

#866
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Sep 22, 2011 11:30 PM - Misc - by Kathy (woman)

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She's going to hate herself in the morning, but at least she's having fun right now!

#417
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Jan 30, 2011 03:17 AM - Drunk - by Katy (woman)

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My boyfriend thought the purpose of tampons is to alleviate menstrual pain...

#874
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Feb 11, 8257 01:19 PM - Love - by Beanz (woman)

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Today I sucked helium out of a balloon, and tried singing, I finally matched the pitch of Justin Bieber in choir.

#843
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Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - School - by JBiebFan (woman)

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He asked if gravity kept girls from getting pregnant when they are on top.

#857
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Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Julie (woman)

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I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I'll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you're a total whore. But I want you to know there's always a chance for us - WTF?

#402
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Jan 30, 2011 02:26 AM - Love - by Cello (woman)

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"Wanna try this position tonight?"

#420
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Jan 30, 2011 04:35 AM - Sex - by Ellen (woman)

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Soon after we first met he said, ‘Please, keep your finger out of my butthole. Some chicks are freaky so I’m just getting it out of the way.'

#869
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Sep 22, 2011 11:54 PM - Misc - by Lisa (woman)

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As I was walking into a convenience store, I held the door for a middle aged woman who was walking up. She said "Don't hold the door because I’m a woman!". I responded with "It's because you’re old." The look on her face and the laughing clerk was priceless.

#844
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Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Work - by MenopauseHits (woman)

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As we are sitting in my BFs bed after I just got him off instead of sex cause I was on my period and he taps my crotch and says babe I think its great!! That means no baby in there. The more blood the better I alway say!!

#490
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Feb 16, 2011 03:28 AM - Sex - by G.access (woman)

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He said to me, ‘I can’t look at you when you have a pickle in your mouth.’

#863
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Sep 22, 2011 11:29 PM - Misc - by Tina (woman)

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So we are lying in bed after I just got him off because I was on my rag and he says: "Babe I think its great! It means theres no babys in there!" as he taps my crotch "keep it coming babe, the more blood the better I always say!"

#489
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Feb 16, 2011 03:23 AM - Sex - by G.access (woman)

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My boyfriend- "You're not stupid. You're a girl."

#936
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Sep 5, 2012 09:47 AM - Misc - by Kate (woman)

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My friend's brother is mentally challenged but still lives on his own. One day he called his sister and told her to come over quickly because he had trapped a gnome. She arrived there about 5 hours later and she moved the table, opened the door, there was a midget Jahovah witness in the closet!

#840
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Aug 10, 2011 08:44 AM - Misc - by ILoveIt (woman)

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My bro had a wrestling match. I put Viagra in his water bottle! hehe

#848
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Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Drunk - by Payback (woman)

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My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.

#409
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Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Sex - by Shelley (woman)

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