The Shit Your BF Says or Does

Submit Your Story


Your Nickname :
Categories :
Gender? :
Upload Picture:

When I told him my period was a bit late, he freaked out and exclaimed, ‘I knew BJs could get you pregnant!

#865
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (8) - Dump His Ass! (38)

Sep 22, 2011 11:29 PM - Misc - by Katie (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

My boyfriend once told me, ‘I wish I had a vagine. That way I would have a place to put things."

#864
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (19) - Dump His Ass! (9)

Sep 22, 2011 11:29 PM - Misc - by Jamie (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

He said to me, ‘I can’t look at you when you have a pickle in your mouth.’

#863
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (16) - Dump His Ass! (9)

Sep 22, 2011 11:29 PM - Misc - by Tina (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

He overheard me tell a friend I bought a DVF dress and later he told me he liked my 'DVDA' dress. I corrected him, but he said, 'Are you sure you don't mean DVDA? Double vaginal, double anal?' Uh, no I most definitely did not.

#862
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (3) - Dump His Ass! (27)

Sep 22, 2011 11:29 PM - Misc - by Marie (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

The first time he saw me curling my hair (and apparently the first time he saw any girl curling her hair), he asked, 'How long will that last? A few months or until it grows out and you cut it?' He actually thought that using a curling iron might be permanent.

#861
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (23) - Dump His Ass! (10)

Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Elizabeth (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

An ex once told me that women may have to deal with period issues, but guys have it way worse because they have 'inner butt hair'. When I pressed him on it, he said, 'Do you have any idea how difficult it makes wiping back there?'

#860
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (5) - Dump His Ass! (16)

Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Sex - by Joann (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

My friend was trying to convince me we could have casual sex and his most persuasive line was, 'It doesn't count as sex if you use a condom.'

#859
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (3) - Dump His Ass! (35)

Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Sex - by Alex (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

We were in bed hooking up. I was shirtless, but with my bra still on. Instead of taking my bra off, my boyfriend folded down the cup, revealing my nipple and exclaimed, 'Peek a boob!' What a mood killer.

#858
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (24) - Dump His Ass! (12)

Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Katie (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

He asked if gravity kept girls from getting pregnant when they are on top.

#857
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (5) - Dump His Ass! (26)

Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Julie (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

One night I was leaning on his stomach and I guess my elbow was digging into him. He told me, 'Babe, get up. You're hurting my ovaries.' I think he was serious and I couldn't help but burst out laughing.

#856
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (25) - Dump His Ass! (4)

Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Christine (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

My man and I were out for a romantic brunch at this nice restaurant and he ordered a fruit parfait. When he was finished he said, 'It would have been better without the cantaloupe and antelope.' Turns out he meant honey dew.

#855
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (12) - Dump His Ass! (2)

Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Jordan (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

One time he squeezed my sides and said, 'You're just like a pillow! A meat pillow!'

#854
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (4) - Dump His Ass! (21)

Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Amy (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

I was sitting on the couch wrapped up in a blanket and he said, completely seriously, 'If you were a burrito, I'd eat you.' He thought it was such a sexy line.

#853
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (27) - Dump His Ass! (2)

Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Bree (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

me: you could have been one of those guys that had lots of girlfriends

bf: nah, im good with just you

me: awww really?

bf: yup... im too lazy for more than one.

#852
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (23) - Dump His Ass! (6)

Sep 1, 2011 07:38 PM - Misc - by SweetTart (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

him (on the phone): you're a fucking scumbag, and I want to choke you to death.
me: *click*

him (email): why are you ignoring me? That's an act of aggression.

#851
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (1) - Dump His Ass! (48)

Sep 1, 2011 07:38 PM - Breakups - by puh-leeze (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

My brother got kicked out of Barnes and Noble for placing Bibles in the fiction section.

#850
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (35) - Dump His Ass! (11)

Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Family - by ambs (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

Today, at my high school, my teacher announced that all the third hour classes would be having a door decorating contest for Martin Luther King Day. The boy next to me suggested that we duct tape the one black kid in the class to the door.

#849
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (26) - Dump His Ass! (5)

Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - School - by Payback (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

My bro had a wrestling match. I put Viagra in his water bottle! hehe

#848
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (22) - Dump His Ass! (11)

Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Drunk - by Payback (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

As I was waiting on line at a store, I noticed the cashier had a British accent. When it was my turn, I faked a British accent in conversation. He asked me where I was from, so I admitted that I was faking. His British accent disappeared as he said, "Me too."

#847
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (45) - Dump His Ass! (2)

Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Drunk - by GirlsLoveFakeBrits (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

I received an e-mail today from my teacher telling me that her dog ate my homework! And that she was sincerely sorry. Ironic...

#846
0 Comments

He's A Keeper! (13) - Dump His Ass! (1)

Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - School - by SchoolBlows (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

Your Account
Username: Password:  Remember Me

Connect