The Shit Your BF Says or Does
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sent me this text: "started rubbing one out and fell asleep. GOD i'm a boring fuck!"

#295 (1) - Feb 5, 2010 06:11 PM by jeeves - Misc - He's A Keeper! (41) - Dump His Ass! (14)

my bf and I were having this amazing sex....right before he gets off he says I wanna cum on your face, As I am okay with that it's pretty hot...but when he spun me around to cum on my cheek it went to far and most of the jizz went in my ear, and when he finds out he says.. did you hear me cumming?

#294 (1) - Feb 4, 2010 07:04 PM by cummingfromwestvirginia - Intimacy - He's A Keeper! (62) - Dump His Ass! (12)

me: "i watch CSI, i know the difference." him: "...and i watch porn but that doesn't make me an expert." good way to end a discussion babe, lol

#293 (1) - Feb 3, 2010 11:36 AM by hecallsmedork - Misc - He's A Keeper! (45) - Dump His Ass! (11)

Sitting next to Paul Wall at the Clippers game. Surprisingly, he's a dumbfuck to talk to. Good thing some people like his music bc he wouldn't be qualified to sweep floors.

#291 (1) - Feb 1, 2010 10:34 PM by Anonymous - Misc - He's A Keeper! (8) - Dump His Ass! (11)

I want to be like Steve Jobs, in the sense that every time I release something, it's a smash hit no matter how shitty it is, I mean really no dual tasking and no flash compatability?!? - He's such a dork.

#290 (1) - Feb 1, 2010 10:31 PM by Anonymous - Work - He's A Keeper! (18) - Dump His Ass! (4)

Planning a bachelor party and I just found out the groom isn't supposed to hook up with the dancer at the party, this changes everything!

#289 (1) - Feb 1, 2010 10:25 PM by Anonymous - Misc - He's A Keeper! (0) - Dump His Ass! (23)

"You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld."

#287 (1) - Jan 30, 2010 03:10 PM by Anonymous - Drunk - He's A Keeper! (25) - Dump His Ass! (4)

"You asked the officer if he could take you to the same jail as T.I."

#286 (1) - Jan 30, 2010 03:09 PM by Anonymous - Drunk - He's A Keeper! (17) - Dump His Ass! (9)

I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.

#285 (0) - Jan 30, 2010 03:05 PM by Anonymous - Intimacy - He's A Keeper! (24) - Dump His Ass! (31)

So there I was naked in an elevator and it got stuck between floors...The maint. guy was like WTF!

#284 (0) - Jan 30, 2010 03:05 PM by Anonymous - Drunk - He's A Keeper! (14) - Dump His Ass! (1)

I want those oreos so bad...I don't want to reach for them tho. From now on... it's oreos b4 weed.

#283 (0) - Jan 30, 2010 03:04 PM by Anonymous - Misc - He's A Keeper! (10) - Dump His Ass! (23)

His roommate to my boyfriend: "I don't care if you're halfway inside that girl, you WILL come pick me up."

#282 (0) - Jan 30, 2010 03:02 PM by Anonymous - Drunk - He's A Keeper! (20) - Dump His Ass! (13)

"Dude, just got a bj while wearing night vision goggles. Felt like a freakin sex tape bro!"

#281 (0) - Jan 30, 2010 02:59 PM by Anonymous - Intimacy - He's A Keeper! (18) - Dump His Ass! (6)

He bitch slapped his penis because it wouldn't get hard. Great night!

#280 (0) - Jan 30, 2010 02:58 PM by Anonymous - Intimacy - He's A Keeper! (28) - Dump His Ass! (4)

So I felt a vagina for the first time today. No lie, feels like a snuggie made specially for your penis.

#279 (0) - Jan 30, 2010 02:58 PM by Anonymous - Intimacy - He's A Keeper! (32) - Dump His Ass! (6)

After I sucked him, he said "dirty mouth? Clean it up." and stuck a piece of orbit gum in my mouth.

#278 (0) - Jan 30, 2010 02:58 PM by Anonymous - Health - He's A Keeper! (29) - Dump His Ass! (19)

He said he "kind of had sex before...barely" I think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.

#277 (0) - Jan 30, 2010 02:55 PM by Anonymous - Intimacy - He's A Keeper! (7) - Dump His Ass! (17)

So, right as he's cumming, he pulls out and goes "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, he missed completely.

#276 (0) - Jan 30, 2010 02:54 PM by Anonymous - Intimacy - He's A Keeper! (25) - Dump His Ass! (15)

My boyfriend to his roommate: I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isn't sound proof 'Captain Cock'.

#275 (0) - Jan 30, 2010 02:52 PM by Anonymous - Intimacy - He's A Keeper! (28) - Dump His Ass! (2)

She made my bed before she left. i think I'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done.

#274 (0) - Jan 30, 2010 02:50 PM by Anonymous - Work - He's A Keeper! (8) - Dump His Ass! (28)

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