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As I was waiting on line at a store, I noticed the cashier had a British accent. When it was my turn, I faked a British accent in conversation. He asked me where I was from, so I admitted that I was faking. His British accent disappeared as he said, "Me too."
Today, at my high school, my teacher announced that all the third hour classes would be having a door decorating contest for Martin Luther King Day. The boy next to me suggested that we duct tape the one black kid in the class to the door.
As I was walking into a convenience store, I held the door for a middle aged woman who was walking up. She said "Don't hold the door because I’m a woman!". I responded with "It's because you’re old." The look on her face and the laughing clerk was priceless.
We were in bed hooking up. I was shirtless, but with my bra still on. Instead of taking my bra off, my boyfriend folded down the cup, revealing my nipple and exclaimed, 'Peek a boob!' What a mood killer.
So last night my boyfriend and I are sitting around a fire with his parents and we were all pretty quiet for a minute, and then my bf's dad stands up and with this Indian accent says, "Me chief Hung Low, first name Hung, last name low" and proceeds to drop his pants and piss on the fire.
One night I was leaning on his stomach and I guess my elbow was digging into him. He told me, 'Babe, get up. You're hurting my ovaries.' I think he was serious and I couldn't help but burst out laughing.