In the middle of sex, he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... I'm gonna marry him!

8 o'clock in the morning, he wakes up and says, "So, you want to go shopping this morning?" , "Yup", "You want breakfast first?", "mm-hmm", "Okay, you stay here in bed, warm and comfortable." Then he gets up to go make me breakfast!

You shouldn't buy me things. Save your money for unicorn rides or whatever it is girls spend money on.

"I always feel so sexually satisfied after pounding your vagina."

Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing.

"i wish you were here, the bed feels empty"

So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was embarrassed so I just went ahead and took the blame and apologized!

He sent me a picture of Buzz Lightyear and put "My love for (myname) reaches Infinity and Beyond"

My boyfriend told me today, "You can kiss me if you're sick, but if I'm sick, stay away."

I knew you were the girl of my dreams b/c you orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.

Him: Wanna come to the party? :) Me: What's with the smiley? Him: Bitch don't question my happiness.

My boyfriend went limp in the middle of sex tonight. He tried to get us back in the mood by saying "Hey baby, my dick died. Can I bury it in your ass?"

My BF told me " babe I'm Going To Bend You Over, and F*** the Shit Out Of You."

The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.

my bf and I were having this amazing sex....right before he gets off he says I wanna cum on your face, As I am okay with that it's pretty hot...but when he spun me around to cum on my cheek it went to far and most of the jizz went in my ear, and when he finds out he says.. did you hear me cumming?

Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor. First one to puke gets voted off the island.

"I miss you more. If I could make any one thing happen, I would make you be here"

If you gave me a car made of diamonds and blowjobs all day, I still wouldn't drink that beer.

Please just talk dirty to me in some foreign language, I don't even give a shit what you are saying, just DO IT.

"If they make ice cream taste as good as your pussy, I'd be the fattest kid in the world!"