The Shit Your BF Says or Does
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My brother got kicked out of Barnes and Noble for placing Bibles in the fiction section.

#850
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He's A Keeper! (35) - Dump His Ass! (11)

Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - Family - by ambs (woman)

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We were showering together and I realized he was putting conditioner on his pubes and chest hair. He explained, ‘It’s important that it be soft and silky.’ He was totally serious.

#872
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He's A Keeper! (37) - Dump His Ass! (11)

Sep 29, 2011 06:01 AM - Misc - by Tara (woman)

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The first time he saw me curling my hair (and apparently the first time he saw any girl curling her hair), he asked, 'How long will that last? A few months or until it grows out and you cut it?' He actually thought that using a curling iron might be permanent.

#861
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He's A Keeper! (23) - Dump His Ass! (10)

Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Elizabeth (woman)

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Soon after we first met he said, ‘Please, keep your finger out of my butthole. Some chicks are freaky so I’m just getting it out of the way.'

#869
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He's A Keeper! (37) - Dump His Ass! (10)

Sep 22, 2011 11:54 PM - Misc - by Lisa (woman)

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My boyfriend asked me if i was born without a sex and had to choose between being female or male, which would I choose. i said i would be female. He said, "yeah, me too, I'd stick so much stuff up my vagina it would be untrue."

#981
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He's A Keeper! (11) - Dump His Ass! (10)

Sep 27, 2012 10:33 AM - Misc - by Jamiexlou (woman)

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So last night my boyfriend and I are sitting around a fire with his parents and we were all pretty quiet for a minute, and then my bf's dad stands up and with this Indian accent says, "Me chief Hung Low, first name Hung, last name low" and proceeds to drop his pants and piss on the fire.

#427
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Jan 30, 2011 05:31 AM - Misc - by Ali (woman)

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He said to me, ‘I can’t look at you when you have a pickle in your mouth.’

#863
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He's A Keeper! (16) - Dump His Ass! (9)

Sep 22, 2011 11:29 PM - Misc - by Tina (woman)

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My boyfriend once told me, ‘I wish I had a vagine. That way I would have a place to put things."

#864
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He's A Keeper! (19) - Dump His Ass! (9)

Sep 22, 2011 11:29 PM - Misc - by Jamie (woman)

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He says: "Fighting zombies wouldn't be totally awesome, but it wouldn't be the worst way to go out either. Just saying."

#959
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He's A Keeper! (16) - Dump His Ass! (9)

Aug 2, 2012 06:01 AM - Misc - by Tamarhino (woman)

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The other day I wrote a to-do list and left it on my BF's table. After he read it he said: "This is the most logical letter you have ever given me."

#963
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He's A Keeper! (29) - Dump His Ass! (9)

Sep 5, 2012 09:51 AM - Misc - by Ruhruh (woman)

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Hey you want to go to Bally's? I just saw a couple of really fat people and thought of you and me.

#392
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Jan 30, 2011 02:20 AM - Health - by Paula (woman)

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Is there any kind of anal sex other than SURPRISE anal sex?

#396
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Jan 30, 2011 02:20 AM - Sex - by Lyndsay (woman)

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I didn't think it was possible to out-queer figure skating, but look out! Here comes ice dancing!

#397
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He's A Keeper! (11) - Dump His Ass! (8)

Jan 30, 2011 02:21 AM - Misc - by Joanne (woman)

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"You shouldn't let your vagina make the decisions any more...it makes bad ones."

#424
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Jan 30, 2011 05:31 AM - Misc - by Ashley (woman)

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Me: I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time.
Him: I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating.

#410
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He's A Keeper! (13) - Dump His Ass! (7)

Jan 30, 2011 03:00 AM - Sex - by Carmella (woman)

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(Went to Dallas for a church event.) Him: So have you found someone better at church? Me: Yes, Jesus! Him: A Mexican?

#400
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He's A Keeper! (14) - Dump His Ass! (6)

Jan 30, 2011 02:21 AM - Misc - by Allysa (woman)

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My mom told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time.

#423
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Jan 30, 2011 05:12 AM - Love - by Andrea (woman)

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me: you could have been one of those guys that had lots of girlfriends

bf: nah, im good with just you

me: awww really?

bf: yup... im too lazy for more than one.

#852
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He's A Keeper! (23) - Dump His Ass! (6)

Sep 1, 2011 07:38 PM - Misc - by SweetTart (woman)

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"If and when I visit texas, whether it be in a year or two, or the 10 year high school reunion...remind me to beat your ass and sit on you..."

#401
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He's A Keeper! (4) - Dump His Ass! (5)

Jan 30, 2011 02:21 AM - Misc - by Lola (woman)

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Today, at my high school, my teacher announced that all the third hour classes would be having a door decorating contest for Martin Luther King Day. The boy next to me suggested that we duct tape the one black kid in the class to the door.

#849
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He's A Keeper! (26) - Dump His Ass! (5)

Aug 10, 2011 08:45 AM - School - by Payback (woman)

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